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    • Join Date: Jan 2009
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    #1

    confusion

    dear teachers,

    can this paragraph make sense to you? if not, what's wrong with this writng exactly? please correct it.

    thanks.

    Today on my way to a shopping mall, i saw dozens of girls. Few of them are pretty, most are 'plain janes' and the rest are the ugly ones, which sparked me to think of such a question that how the average of ugly types of gals could build up relationships and what their prospects of it would be, given that the love for beauty is just the nature of human beings.

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    #2

    Re: confusion

    Quote Originally Posted by dafunkygirl View Post
    dear teachers,

    can this paragraph make sense to you? if not, what's wrong with this writng exactly? please correct it.

    thanks.

    Today on my way to a shopping mall, i saw dozens of girls. Few of them are pretty, most are 'plain janes' and the rest are the ugly ones, which sparked me to think of such a question that how the average of ugly types of gals could build up relationships and what their prospects of it would be, given that the love for beauty is just the nature of human beings.
    Today, on my way to the shopping mall, I saw dozens of girls. Few of them are pretty, most are average" plain Janes", and the rest are homely. Since the tendency for humans is to look only for beauty, what might be the chances for the homelier females to develop relationships?

    I changed the word "ugly" to "homely" because very few girls are actually ugly, but many are homely.
    Last edited by Lady Hawk; 03-Sep-2009 at 18:47. Reason: revise

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