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    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Arrow Please can somebody proof read my job application

    Hi

    Please take a look and offer any constructive criticism / feedback etc.

    Any changes will be much appreciated.

    Question 1

    Describe a situation where you have had to remain calm and controlled in a stressful situation.

    What was the situation: I was working in an arcade when I noticed a man swearing loudly and banging the machine he was playing. The man was clearly angry. He was saying that the games were fixed. I could see that the man’s behaviour was making customers near him very nervous.

    What role did you play: I asked the man if I could help. He continued to shout. I reminded him that he was in a public place and that his behaviour was unacceptable. He did lower his tone, but he was still unhappy about the money he had lost. I told the man that I could not help him here and now, so I offered the man a coffee and asked him to join me in the cafe away from the machines.

    What happened as a result: The man agreed to join me. This got him of the floor and away from other customers. He did calm down. He told me that he has a gambling addiction. I gave the man a pamphlet which explained about gambling addiction and help which was available. The man still seemed upset but he was no longer causing distress to himself or others.

    Question 2

    Describe a situation where you have had to change the way you do something following a change imposed by someone in authority.

    What was the situation: When I was a clerk I always worked Monday –Friday. The site was open seven days a week. I was told, by my shift manager, that during the ten weeks running up to Christmas, I would have to change my rota and work Sunday – Thursday to help meet the demands of the company.

    What role did you play: I understood that Sundays would be busier during the Christmas period. I did the Sunday – Thursday shift as required, without complaint.

    What happened as a result: I was always able to keep on top of my work during the week due to the hours I did on Sundays. The company presented me with a gift voucher for assisting when in need.

    Question 3

    Describe a situation where you have had to work closely with others as part of a team.

    What was the situation. My Team Leader called my self and five other colleges into the office. He explained that we had fore hundred extra orders that needed to be picked, packed and loaded onto a trailer which was due to leave the warehouse in forty five minutes.

    What role did you play. Between the six of us, we agreed who would be picking, packing and loading. I was one of the three who was picking. When I had finished picking, I helped the others get the items packed and loaded.


    What happened as a result. All the orders made it onto the trailer and would have been delivered to the customer in on time. My Team Leader was impressed with all of us. When ever we had extra orders to complete, I was always called away from my normal duties to work in a team.

    Question 4

    Describe a situation where you have interacted with people who are different from you in terms of background, age or gender.

    What was the situation: When I was working as a uniformed security office at a retail store, I was asked by a lady if she could have a quite word with me. She explained that her husband was a transvestite and asked if he could have the disable toilet key.
    What role did you play: I understood the situation. I got the toilet key and gave it to the man as discreetly as possible without question.

    What happened as a result: The man was able to use the toilet without any embarrassment. I knew my actions were greatly appreciated by the couple.

    Question 5

    Describe a situation where you have taken steps to improve your skills and / or learn new things.

    What was the situation. I was covering in the warehouse office as a clerk. I had no previous experience with the systems I was using. I was taught the basics so that I could do what was needed. I found by self doing tasks that I was not a hundred percent sure on why I was doing them. This made me very uneasy when I was covering in the office.


    What role did you play. I explained my situation to Mike, who was the Systems Administrator on site, and asked if he any information on the systems we use. Mike gave me the standard operations sheets for each of the systems. Mike also offered to give personal one on ones lessons.

    What happened as a result. I took up Mikes offer and had lessons with him. This gave me a better understanding of the position I was covering. It made my day at work a lot less stressful. It also helped me secure a permanent position in the office.

    Question 6


    Describe a situation where you have had to work closely with others as part of a team.
    What was the situation. My Team Leader called my self and five other colleges into the office. He explained that we had four hundred extra orders that needed to be picked, packed and loaded onto a trailer which was due to leave the warehouse in forty five minutes.

    What role did you play. Between the six of us, we agreed who would be picking, packing and loading. I was one of the three who was picking. When I had finished picking, I helped the others get the items packed and loaded.

    What happened as a result. All the orders made it onto the trailer and would have been delivered to the customer in on time. My Team Leader was impressed with all of us. Whenever we had extra orders to complete, I was always called away from my normal duties to work in a team.

    Many Thanks.

    Wayne

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Oriya
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 2,121
    #2

    Exclamation Re: Please can somebody proof read my job application

    Quote Originally Posted by wayne c View Post
    Hi

    Please take a look and offer any constructive criticism / feedback etc.

    Any changes will be much appreciated.

    Question 1
    Describe a situation where you have had to remain calm and controlled in a stressful situation.

    What was the situation: I was working in an arcade when I noticed a man swearing loudly and banging the
    instrument/machine he was playing. The man was visibly/clearly angry. He was saying that the games were fixed. I could see that the man’s behaviour was making customers near him very nervous.

    What role did you play: I asked the man if I could help. He continued to shout. I reminded him that he was in a public place and that his behaviour was
    unbecoming/unacceptable. He did lower his tone, but he was still unhappy about the money he had lost. I told the man that I could not help him here and now, but/so I offered him/the man a coffee and asked him to join me in the cafe away from the machines.

    What happened as a result: The man agreed to join me. This got him of the floor and away from other customers. He did calm down
    considerably. He told me that he has an addiction to gambling. I gave the man a pamphlet which explained about gambling addiction and help which was available. The man still seemed upset but he was no longer harmful/causing distress to himself or others.

    Question 2

    Describe a situation where you have had to change the way you do something following a change imposed by someone in authority.

    What was the situation: When I was a clerk I
    used to work/always worked Monday –Friday. The site was open seven days a week. I was told, by my shift manager, that during the ten weeks leading/running up to Christmas, I would have to change my rota and work Sunday – Thursday to help meet the demands of the company.

    What role did you play: I
    realized/understood that Sundays would be busier during the Christmas period. I did the Sunday – Thursday shift as required, without complaining/complaint.

    What happened as a result: I was always able to keep
    up-to-date with/on top of my work during the week due to the hours I did on Sundays. The company presented me with a gift voucher for assisting when in need.

    Question 3

    Describe a situation where you have had to work closely with others as part of a team.

    What was the situation. My Team Leader called
    me/my self and five other colleges into the office. He explained that we had four hundred extra orders that needed to be picked, packed and loaded onto a trailer which was due to leave the warehouse in forty five minutes.

    What role did you play. Between the six of us, we agreed
    on who would be picking, packing and loading. I was one of the three who was picking. When I had finished picking, I helped the others get the items packed and loaded.


    What happened as a result. All the orders made it onto the trailer and would have been delivered to the customer (in) on time. My Team Leader was impressed with all of us. When ever we had
    work involving team efforts/extra orders to complete, I was always requisitioned/called away from my normal duties to work in a team.

    Question 4

    Describe a situation where you have interacted with people who are different from you in terms of background, age or gender.

    What was the situation: When I was working as a uniformed security office
    r at a retail store, I was asked by a lady if she could have a quite word with me. She explained that her husband was a transvestite and asked if he could have the disable toilet key.
    What role did you play: I understood the situation. I got the toilet key and gave it to the man as discreetly as possible without
    hesitation/question.

    What happened as a result: The man was able to use the toilet without any embarrassment. I knew my actions were greatly appreciated by the couple.

    Question 5

    Describe a situation where you have taken steps to improve your skills and / or learn new things.

    What was the situation. I was covering in the warehouse office as a clerk. I had no previous experience with the systems I was using. I was taught the basics so that I could do what was needed. I found by
    learning on the job/self doing tasks that I was not a hundred percent sure on why I was doing them. This made me very uneasy when I was covering in the office.


    What role did you play. I explained my situation to Mike, who was the Systems Administrator on site, and asked if he
    can provide me with any information on the systems we use. Mike gave me the standard operations sheets for each of the systems. Mike also offered to give personal one on one (s) lessons.

    What happened as a result. I took up Mikes offer and had lessons with him. This gave me a better understanding of the position I was covering. It made my day at work a lot less stressful. It also helped me secure a permanent position in the office.



    Question 6(repeatition of Q3)


    Describe a situation where you have had to work closely with others as part of a team.
    What was the situation. My Team Leader called my self and five other colleges into the office. He explained that we had four hundred extra orders that needed to be picked, packed and loaded onto a trailer which was due to leave the warehouse in forty five minutes.

    What role did you play. Between the six of us, we agreed who would be picking, packing and loading. I was one of the three who was picking. When I had finished picking, I helped the others get the items packed and loaded.

    What happened as a result. All the orders made it onto the trailer and would have been delivered to the customer in on time. My Team Leader was impressed with all of us. Whenever we had extra orders to complete, I was always called away from my normal duties to work in a team.

    Many Thanks.

    Wayne
    I have made a few alternate suggestions in red to be replaced by the words underlined. The choice is yours.


    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 13
    #3

    Re: Please can somebody proof read my job application

    I agree with the changes that the other person made, but if your prospective employer knows that English is not your first language, he or she may be a little "miffed" at the idea that you had someone help. This is your call.

    The only other thing I saw was in the sentence, " This got him of the floor and away from other customers."

    You should say, "off of the floor", or "away from the floor and the customers", or something like it. Just make sure that you check the preposition use.

    Good job!


    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 2
    #4

    Re: Please can somebody proof read my job application

    I am aware of the numerous spelling mistakes I have made in my first draft. I tend to think faster than I type ;). I was more concerned with the grammar rather than spelling. Contrary to popular belief, English is my first language and I have an outstanding "Manc" accent to accompany it.
    With regards to the repetition of question 6. Lets just say I had a brain fart when I was copy/pasting.
    However, your comments have been duly noted and thank you for taking the time to assist.

    Many Thanks

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