Results 1 to 4 of 4

    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 10
    #1

    proposal RAPORT - correction

    I know I used too many words (I'll correct it later) but I would be grateful for help:
    PROPOSAL RAPORT

    On behalf of your college you have conducted a survey on the study habits of students. Write a report for the college authorities, mentioning such factors as where students study, what times they choose to study, whether they study alone, their use of computers and any other factors you consider relevant.
    -------------------


    The purpose of this report is to outline all aspects of studying as well as a great diversity of methods chosen by young people. I have conducted the inquiry among students in our college, dividing them into groups of sex and age (more detailed information are placed on separate graphs).


    PLACE
    Our survey contained a full range of places suitable for learning: at home, at school, surrounded by nature (park, forest, etc), in the library, etc. The greatest part of polled students (more then a half) answered that they learn in the most efficient way at home, it can be their place or their friendís house, however, it has to be peaceful and silent neighborhood. The next group (about 20%) selected libraries and emphasized that it means for them almost the same as learning at school. Anther choices got equally a few percents of votes.



    NIGHT OWLS AND EARLY BIRDS
    The next concern displays youth preferences for the most appropriate time for learning. We propose only three possibilities. Students picked equally early morning and late evening (even night). They commented that it strictly depends on their timetable, since often they connect learning and working. Only about 10% answered that consolidation of beautiful, sunny weather, fresh air and good mood give them the best effects.



    TOGETHER OR ALONE
    We asked students about companionship during learning, calculating complicated tasks or solving multifarious problems. Here we recognized the wildest diversity of answers. Every possibility had been calculated to get about 20-25% of votes. Whatís more they had a chance to explain their choice. People who prefer a fellowship wrote that mostly it is caused by their lack of self-confidence as well as their difficulties with gaining certain part of knowledge. This group were divided into two smaller clusters, those who simply do not like standing alone and those who occasionally ask more experienced people (sometimes tutors) for help. Another voters admitted that people disturb them and, especially when they learn by heart, they need silence to focus on the subject.

    MEMORY
    The last issue of this survey deals with conceptions how to remember as much as possible. Students who attend classes and lectures answered that their own notes are the best source of knowledge, though some of them added that it also depends on the subject and tutor. Another sizeable group avowed that both they do not take part in lectures and cope notes from other students or they prefer books to hand records. The rest of voters chose using dictaphones or simply remembering all without putting anything down.



    I hope that the survey presented in this report will help you to understand studentsí needs and habits. Moreover I believe it can be the beginning of long-term plans in our college to create more and more suitable and friendly surroundings for teachers and students.


    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 10
    #2

    Re: proposal RAPORT - correction

    please, help me if you can... I really need to know what kind of mistakes I made. I also forgot to add that this is CPE level.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Oriya
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 2,121
    #3

    Exclamation Re: proposal RAPORT - correction

    Quote Originally Posted by zorzetka View Post
    please, help me if you can... I really need to know what kind of mistakes I made. I also forgot to add that this is CPE level.
    The purpose of this report is to outline all aspects of studying as well as a great diversity of methods chosen by young people. I have conducted the inquiry among students in our college, dividing them into groups based on (of) sex and age (more detailed information are placed on separate graphs).


    PLACE
    At the very outset our survey identified (contained a full range) a number of places suitable for learning: at home, at school, in the library, secluded places such as park, forest, etc surrounded by nature . A great majority of (The greatest part of) students polled (more then a half) answered that they learn in the most efficient way at home, it can be their own place or their friend’s house, however, it has to be peaceful having a (and) silent neighborhood. The next group (about 20%) selected libraries and opined/emphasized that for them, it means almost the same as learning at school. Other (Anther) choices got equally divided with a few percentages of votes.


    NIGHT OWLS AND EARLY BIRDS
    Our next attention was focused on (The next concern displays) youth preferences for the most appropriate time for learning. We could only propose three possibilities. Students normally utilize (picked equally) early morning hours and late evening (even night) hours which equally suit them for study. They commented that it strictly depends on their timetable, since often they have to balance between (connect) learning and playing/working. Only about 10% answered that an ideal combination (consolidation) of beautiful, sunny weather, fresh air and good mood motivates (give) them to concentrate and realise the best results (effects).


    TOGETHER OR ALONE
    We then asked students about role of a learning companion as support (ship during), with particular reference to understanding of (calculating) complicated tasks/lessons or solving complex (multifarious) problems. Here we observed (recognized) the widest diversity of viewpoints (wildest of answers). Every possibility had been calculated to get about 20-25% of votes. What’s more they had a chance to explain their choice. People who prefer a companion (fellowship) wrote that mostly it is caused by their lack of self-confidence as well as their difficulties to comprehend (with gaining) certain part of basic knowledge. This group was (were) divided into two smaller clusters, those who simply do not like going (standing) alone and those who occasionally need (ask) more experienced people (sometimes tutors) for help. Another class of voters admitted having got (that people) disturbed by them and, especially when they need silence to to learn by heart, and (they) to focus on the subject.
    MEMORY
    The last point (ssue) of this survey deals with memory, (conceptions) a conceptual aspect and practice adopted (how) to remember as much as possible. Students who attend classes and lectures answered that their own notes are the best source of knowledge, though some of them have partial agreement with it but added that it also depends on the subject and tutor. Another sizeable group avowed that (both) they neither (do not) take part in lectures nor (and) copy notes from other students but (or) they prefer books to hand written records. The rest of voters chose using dictaphones or simply remembering all without putting anything down.


    I hope that the findings of survey presented in this report will help you to understand students’ needs and habits. Moreover I believe it can be the beginning of long-term plans in our college to create more and more conducive (suitable) and friendly environment (surroundings) for teachers and students.
    I have made some suggestion on language and a few corrections. Delete words underlined in brackets.
    Last edited by sarat_106; 18-Sep-2009 at 11:23.


    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 10
    #4

    Re: proposal RAPORT - correction

    thank you so much, can you give me your opinion about my style? i've started writing (CPE degree) recently and have many problems with it. i've got much better results in other parts of exam. i'm confused whether i'm able to do enough work during next 3months to sit a CPE exam in December (doing 2-3 writing parts/week). what do you think about it?

Similar Threads

  1. Grammar Correction: Helpful or Harmful?
    By scmatsuura in forum Teaching English
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 10-Sep-2009, 16:39
  2. correction Date of Birth Letter - need correction
    By sanjoy2009 in forum Letter Writing
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Jul-2009, 07:31
  3. If-clause, passive, reported speech
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-Mar-2008, 09:43
  4. How do I write a proposal to applying a prize?
    By soup1 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-Oct-2007, 14:39
  5. Writing a research proposal.
    By Hipdude in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-May-2007, 11:22

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •