The last summer holiday that I just spent is extreme interesting and fascinating.
> extremeLY interesting
> "fascinating" is the same as "extremely interesting," so you don't say both
I just returned from a fascinating holiday.
It's held in the first of this September.
> It WAS held
> But you don't say "to HOLD a vacation or holiday."
> This little sentence should be part of the next sentence
On the first of September,
I & my eight friends, all of us familiar in high school (???), traveled to Phan Thiet.
> "my eight friends and I" usually
> "all of us from the same high school" would be a way to express this
I traveled with eight of my high school classmates to Phan Thiet.
We visited many well-known places such as:
> This is not the right use of the colon
> It would work after "places" (omitting "such as")
> or keep "such as" and omit the colon
We visited many well-known places, including
Duc Thanh school, Mui Ne beach, Ta Cu mountain, sand hill...
> All the words in a proper name should be capitalized
> the sentence does not need to trail off like that
Duc Thanh School, Mui Ne Beach, Ta Cu Mountain, and Sand Hill.
These places gave me so many memories.
> This idea is too weak to operate as a conclusion to this list
> Just delete this sentence
At first, we were off at 6AM and visited Duc Thanh school.
> This make it appear that you are going to list your tourist itinerary in chronological order.
> But since you don't, just delete this
NOTE: Relocate the last sentence here
This place was first school that HO CHI MINH taught
> THE first school
> that he taught "at" or "where he taught"
> do not use all caps for a proper name
The Duc Thanh school was where Ho Chi Minh first taught
before going abroad to save the Union.
(This is fine)
We heard many emotional stories about him and about the school such as:
> This is not a good use of the colon
> "such as" is used instead of a colon
> End the sentence after school
We heard many emotional stories about him and about the school.
The history of school, How the Phan Thiet's citizens loved him.
> now start this as a new sentence
We learned the history of the school and how the citizens of Phan Thiet loved Ho Chi Minh.
I was very surprised when I saw the tools of teaching were so simple and there were many fruit trees in the school.
> It's not good to end the passage on such a weak side note
> Instead, relocate this sentence back into the paragraph, as an introduction to your remarks about this school, not as a limp ending
> One of the most memorable places we visited was the Duc Thanh School, which is surrounded by fruit trees. It surprised me to see how simple the tools of teaching were.
Student or Learner