I don't think you've penetrated to the real point of this saying in the topic.Here is my essay, please comment and grade it. And if possible, please leave comments on my grammar and word using because I think they are very important to have a perfect essay. I am glad to read any words about your opinion. Thank you in advance
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.Youth is wasted on the young ?
“Youth is wasted on the young” - some people have said that.
[This is obvious since it's the topic. It's unnecessary, unless you're going to present it in a new way.]
I disagree with this statement. Perhaps they are right, but there are still some reasons to prove that they are wrong in some ways.
[This equivocation is awkward]
There are so many young people who use their time contributing to
thesociety. They study and cooperate to make the world a better place for human. They unite in many global cooperation to feed the starving people in the Third World countries, protect the environment with such activities as cleaning the beach, saving animals… In time of war in the Middle East, students in many colleges and universities have raised their voice, pressing the Government to withdraw troops, and their contribution to the protection of the world’s peace cannot be ignored by anybody.
[This is a list of good things that young people do. But older people also do these things.]
For many decades, the world has seen and heard about the story of a young person who showed his appreciation of youth time by working non-stop to establish the world’s most famous and powerful computer technology corporation which is widely known as Microsoft. Bill Gates actually and apparently did not waste his youth, he used it effectively on such admirable things as studying and inventing. Also, a large amount of the tremendous profit he earned has been donated to many humane fund to support the development of human.
[ He could have done this as an older man]
Apparently, forbidden fruit is sweetest, and though many young people have wasted their invaluable time on trivial things and bad stuff like drugs, gambling and crime, many of them have managed to get up and begin from scratch. I
myselfadmire that; their youth then is not wasted too muchbut used in a particular way.
Nowadays, with the development of the world in many fields, the contribution of the young is very important. [You don't say why]
TheSociety needs to pay attention to orienting the young, keeping them aware of their own worth. Only by doing so can we make the young do the right thing in the right way.
What do you think it actually means?
Student or Learner