Please xplain -- Active Listening, Passive Listening & Reflective Listening
Stop working. Stop watching TV. Stop reading. Look at the person. Keep a good distance between you and the speaker. Don't turn away from the speaker. Sit-up straight. Nod your head and make statements such as "uh-uh," "I understand," and "I see what you mean" to show the speaker you truly understand what he/she is saying. If you don't understand, let the person know that. Don't fake listen! Repeat back phrases to clarify what the person is saying. Act like you are interested and ask questions to show that you are interested in what the person is saying. Don't interrupt the speaker.
Passive Listening is listening without reacting:
Reflective listening is also known as parallel talk, parroting, and paraphrasing.
- Allowing someone to speak, without interrupting
- Not doing anything else at the same time
Ideas for reflection come from listening, observing, and interpreting verbal and nonverbal cues as the listener tries to walk in the shoes of the speaker.
When you listen reflectively you express your:
A reflective response lets you communicate to a person what you perceive they are doing, feeling, and saying and why they are choosing their behaviors. It is impossible to be the other person and your best understanding is only a reasonable approximation. Be open-minded and cautious. Consider all ideas as tentative since our best understanding will always be limited because of the uniquiness of all people.
- Desire to understand how the person is thinking and feeling.
- Belief in the person’s ability to understand the situation, identify solutions, select an appropriate choice, and implement it responsibly.
- Belief the person is worthwhile.
- Respect and/or willingness to accept other people's feelings.
- Desire to help. <
- Willingness not to judge the person.
- Desire to share how others perceive what they say or do.
- Desire to explore a problem and help them understand the dimensions of the problem, possible choices and their consequences.