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    • Join Date: Aug 2009
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    #1

    their

    Would you keep the second "their"?

    Selection rules for national teams, for example, exert obvious economic effects: the athletes who are selected have the chance to improve their sporting and, as a result, their financial status.

    Thanks.


    • Join Date: Aug 2009
    • Posts: 1,131
    #2

    Re: their

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasmin165 View Post
    Would you keep the second "their"?

    Selection rules for national teams, for example, exert obvious economic effects: the athletes who are selected have the chance to improve their sporting and, as a result, their financial status.

    Thanks.
    (1) Yes, I would keep the second "their."

    (2) And I would also add the missing noun after "sporting." Is it "sporting status"? As it is, leaving the reader hanging for so long before hitting the missing word is disconcerting. I had to read the sentence a couple of times to figure out what it meant.

    There's no problem with the repitition of the word "status." The two appearances of the word aren't even particularly close together -- but even if they were, you can't just say "their sporting" and let it go at that.

    (3) I would also remove the comma after "and." " ... and as a result ...." is fine. A comma isn't necessary for such short phrases, and it interrupts the easy flow of the words.

    Selection rules for national teams, for example, exert obvious economic effects: the athletes who are selected have the chance to improve their sporting status, and as a result, their financial status.

    I also like this punctuation:

    Selection rules for national teams, for example, exert obvious economic effects: the athletes who are selected have the chance to improve their sporting status -- and as a result, their financial status.



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