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    • Join Date: Oct 2009
    • Posts: 10
    #1

    Help me join these sentences

    I have been trying very hard to logically and grammatically join sentences given below. I fail to do so. Hope I get some help.

    1. If the security request is processed manually, the data group uses either a Panel or the Exchanger to load the request to the product.
    2. If the Exchanger is used for sending the request to the vendor, then the request data is loaded to the Bbo table. Otherwise, the data is loaded into custom tables.
    3. If Exchanger is used, then the Exchanger creates the file in the appropriate format and sends it to the vendor.
    4. In case, the Exchanger is not used ,then the BDO process creates file in the appropriate format and sends it to the vendor.
    5. A file with appropriate data is created and placed in the appropriate directory if the file conforms to the appropriate format.
    6. Otherwise, a log file containing errors is created and placed in the appropriate directory.
    As you can see 1 to 7 is a process. I want the sentences from 1 to 7 to logically connected. They sound pretty ok as individual steps but if I were to make it into a paragraph they sound odd. Can someone help me to get the logical flow in the above steps if I were to write it in a paragraph. Technically, is it ok to start a sentence with "if"?

    Thanks
    AttemptsToGetItRight

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 57,879
    #2

    Re: Help me join these sentences

    It's fine to start with 'if', but doing it repeatedly like this can be hard to read. You can always reverse the order to avoid starting the same way:
    The request data is loaded to the Bbo table if the Exchanger is used for sending the request to the vendor.
    How about using when instead of if?
    In 3, you have the noun Exchanger twice close together- why not use a pronoun?
    If the Exchanger is used, it...

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Laos

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
    • Posts: 57,879
    #3

    Re: Help me join these sentences

    It's fine to start with 'if', but doing it repeatedly like this can be hard to read. You can always reverse the order to avoid starting the same way:
    The request data is loaded to the Bbo table if the Exchanger is used for sending the request to the vendor.
    How about using when instead of if?
    In 3, you have the noun Exchanger twice close together- why not use a pronoun?
    If the Exchanger is used, it...

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