Please correct and commnet on my essay. Thank you :)
Topic: For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?Agree or not
---***---Everyone wants to be successful in his career, but how to reach the goal is a problem that everyone meets. Some people try to have a good relationship with people to reach the goal, whereas others tend to work hard at school to do so. In my opinion, itís more important to relate well to other people to succeed in future career.
Firstly, there is no job in which we donot interact with many types of people, so the skill of dealing well with them and not being stressful under strain of colleagues is very important. Relating well with people is very important to be successful in oneís career, at the same time, however hard we study at school, we still cannot make any progress in the relationship with people, but we actually find ourselves more and more indulgent in books and dry knowledge.
Secondly, the knowledge that we get from teachers is not enough. Because it is mere theory, and what we need is the application of that theory into the real life. But does sitting still in front of books, pens and datas do us any good? My answer is No. We can remember the knowledge well, but we cannot know how it is when it comes into life and happens actually so that we can see with our own eyes. So how does relating well with people help us in this case? A student in a college always craves for an opportunity to practice what he learns from his teachers. So a chance to work for an effectively organized company requiring applied knowledge is invaluable for him. And he can get this chance only by broadening his relationship with people, especially those who run a business or manage some kinds of administration, etc.
Last but not least, the success in his future job depends deeply on the combination of skills and knowledge. But one cannot cover all the necessary knowledge on his own, because knowledge is extremely large. He can be good at certain fields, but not good or even bad in others. And the interaction with people who are professional at such fields is indispensable. Studying hard can provide us with basic knowledge about the job, but relating well with people not only opens the door to opportunities but also supports our study.
All in all, success in future job can be achieved in many ways, in many times and for many purposes. Considering all the factors, it is concluded that we must enhance the relationship to get a successful job in future. However, my essay is not against studying hard but supports the way of balancing between studying and relating with people.
See my reply in your duplicate post