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    #1

    that if

    Are these sentences correct:

    1-I have written a few poems, but there is this one poem, that if it gets published, I'll really be happy.

    2-I have many cousins and I love them all, but I have this one cousin, that if he comes to pay me a visit, I'll really be overjoyed.

    3-There is this bar in my neighbourhood, that if it goes broke one day, a lot of my neighbours will really be sad.


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    #2

    Re: that if

    Quote Originally Posted by navi tasan View Post
    Are these sentences correct:

    1-I have written a few poems, but there is this one poem, that if it gets published, I'll really be happy.

    2-I have many cousins and I love them all, but I have this one cousin, that if he comes to pay me a visit, I'll really be overjoyed.

    3-There is this bar in my neighbourhood, that if it goes broke one day, a lot of my neighbours will really be sad.
    This sentences are characteristic of spoken English, especially extemporaneous utterances (because they show a lack of pre-planning.)

    In written English or formal speech, they'd have to be fixed up.

    1) I have written a lot of poems, but the publication of one in particular would make me happy.

    2) I have many cousins, and I love them all; but I'd really be really overjoyed if one in particular came to pay me a visit.

    3) A lot of my neighbors will be really sad if a certain one of the bars in my neighborhood goes broke one day.

    The usage "There's this one poem that ..." is principally a kid's locution, it seems to me.

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    #3

    Re: that if

    Thanks a lot Ann.

    What do you think of this one:
    3a-There is this bar in my neighbourhood that will make a lot of my neighbours sad if it goes broke.

    Can one use that? The bar does not go broke deliberately so I don't think it is really acceptable.


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    #4

    Re: that if

    Quote Originally Posted by navi tasan View Post
    Thanks a lot Ann.

    What do you think of this one:
    3a-There is this bar in my neighbourhood that will make a lot of my neighbours sad if it goes broke.

    Can one use that? The bar does not go broke deliberately so I don't think it is really acceptable.
    It's okay. In spoken English, this is probably how it would come out.

    The problem is in managing all those little clauses.

    In written English, there would be an effort to connect the pieces that refer to each other, rather than wait for the end of the sentence to hear that it's about a bar that ........ might go broke. The easiest way to do that is to move "A lot of my neighbors will be sad if..." to the front.

    The sentence could be rendered like this: (if the "going broke" weren't so uncooperative, no substitution would be necessary, but you can hardly say "whose going broke would make us sad.") --

    There's a bar in my neighborhood whose bankruptcy (closing / foreclosure) would make a lot of my neighbors sad

    Furthermore, "There is THIS bar ..." is pretty much confined to spoken English, and casual speech at that. I wouldn't ordinarily say that at all, except as a joke.

    I think the best way to frame the sentence close to the one you have printed in red is:

    There's a bar in my neighborhood that, if it goes broke, will make a lot of my neighbors sad. (or "....that, if it goes broke, a lot of my neighbors will be sad.") I would alter both of these for publication.

    And this theoretically shifts the meaning a little (not in practice, but in principle.)

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