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    • Join Date: Oct 2009
    • Posts: 58
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    #1

    help

    Hi, Is this paragraph ok?
    . "As a result, several indigenous people were killed and others declared outlaws and because of that, deliberately hunted. After they were killed, their heads were cut off the body and kept as proof of their death. Later, some of this heads was handed over to an interest surgeon, who strips and boils off the flesh and gifted the skull to a colleague or directly to an institution back in England"

    thank you all

  1. Sharonk123's Avatar

    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 40
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    #2

    Re: help

    Quote Originally Posted by saeta View Post
    Hi, Is this paragraph ok?
    . "As a result, several indigenous people were killed and others declared outlaws and because of that, deliberately hunted. After they were killed, their heads were cut off the body and kept as proof of their death. Later, some of this heads was handed over to an interest surgeon, who strips and boils off the flesh and gifted the skull to a colleague or directly to an institution back in England"

    thank you all
    Nothing wrong with the paragraph. I would just clean it up a little, eliminating the extra and.
    There was some incorrect word usage that I corrected in bold so that you could see the differences.
    As a result several indigenous people were killed and others declared outlaws. Deliberatly hunted, their heads were cut off their bodies and kept as proof of their death.
    Later, some of these heads were handed over to an interested surgeon. The surgeon boiled and stripped off the flesh in order to gift the skull to a colleague or institution back in England.

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