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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #1

    Article on lastest development kindly check

    So now what is China up to, by showing Kashmir as a separate country? Why the Government at New Delhi is silent about it? Dragon is aggressively spewing venom and New Delhi is calm and cool. Are we afraid of the mighty China? Agreed chinaís power is 10 times multiple of India. But remember they carry a tag, Made in China. They just believe in quantity, but not in quality. They believe to fill the pot with rubbles inside and decorate its top with Gold. Agreed china defeated us in 1962 war, but they didnít win because they were powerful than India, but we lost because of a wrong decision which was due to a miscalculation, and itís a part of Game. We should remember a single wrong move can turn tables. Confidence develops faith but over confidence kills it.


    • Join Date: Aug 2009
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    #2

    Re: Article on lastest development kindly check

    So now what is China up to, by showing Kashmir as a separate country?
    What is China up to now, showing Kashmir as a separate country?

    Why the Government at New Delhi is silent about it?
    Why is the Government at New Delhi silent?

    Dragon is aggressively spewing venom and New Delhi is calm and cool.
    The Dragon is aggressively spewing venom, but New Delhi remains calm and cool.

    Are we afraid of the mighty China?
    (This is fine)

    Agreed chinaís power is 10 times multiple of India.
    Agreed -- China's power is ten times that of India's.

    But remember they carry a tag, Made in China.
    But remember that they carry a tag: Made in China.

    They just believe in quantity, but not in quality.
    They believe only in quantity, not in quality.

    They believe to fill the pot with rubbles inside and decorate its top with Gold.
    They believe in filling the pot with rubble and decorating its outside with gold.

    Agreed china defeated us in 1962 war,
    Agreed -- China defeated us in the 1962 war.

    but they didnít win because they were powerful than India,
    But they didn't win because they are more powerful than India.

    but we lost because of a wrong decision which was due to a miscalculation, and itís a part of Game.
    We lost because of a wrong decision due to miscalculation, and it's all part of a game.

    We should remember a single wrong move can turn tables.
    We should remember that a single wrong move can turn the tables.

    Confidence develops faith but over confidence kills it.

    Confidence develops faith, but overconfidence kills it.

  2. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Article on lastest development kindly check

    Quote Originally Posted by Ann1977 View Post
    So now what is China up to, by showing Kashmir as a separate country?
    What is China up to now, showing Kashmir as a separate country?

    Why the Government at New Delhi is silent about it?
    Why is the Government at New Delhi silent?

    Dragon is aggressively spewing venom and New Delhi is calm and cool.
    The Dragon is aggressively spewing venom, but New Delhi remains calm and cool.

    Are we afraid of the mighty China?
    (This is fine)

    Agreed chinaís power is 10 times multiple of India.
    Agreed -- China's power is ten times that of India's.

    But remember they carry a tag, Made in China.
    But remember that they carry a tag: Made in China.

    They just believe in quantity, but not in quality.
    They believe only in quantity, not in quality.

    They believe to fill the pot with rubbles inside and decorate its top with Gold.
    They believe in filling the pot with rubble and decorating its outside with gold.

    Agreed china defeated us in 1962 war,
    Agreed -- China defeated us in the 1962 war.

    but they didnít win because they were powerful than India,
    But they didn't win because they are more powerful than India.

    but we lost because of a wrong decision which was due to a miscalculation, and itís a part of Game.
    We lost because of a wrong decision due to miscalculation, and it's all part of a game.

    We should remember a single wrong move can turn tables.
    We should remember that a single wrong move can turn the tables.

    Confidence develops faith but over confidence kills it.
    Confidence develops faith, but overconfidence kills it.
    Thanks for your kind time and giving me in-dept analyses


    • Join Date: Aug 2009
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    #4

    Re: Article on lastest development kindly check

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    Thanks for your kind time and giving me in-dept analyses

    My pleasure. I enjoyed reading the article.

  3. new2grammar's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Article on lastest development kindly check

    Quote Originally Posted by Ann1977 View Post
    My pleasure. I enjoyed reading the article.
    I am good at thoughts but i struggle to pen down as my writing sytle is not great, you would have noticed. Kinldy advise me some good site from where I can improve on it


    • Join Date: Aug 2009
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    #6

    Re: Article on lastest development kindly check

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    I am good at thoughts but i struggle to pen down as my writing sytle is not great, you would have noticed. Kinldy advise me some good site from where I can improve on it
    I'm not sure what you mean by "writing style," but I will tell you the biggest fault with the article.

    The article should have been written because of the wish to state a strong thesis and then develop it. But instead it wandered around giving some glancing attention to a variety of ideas clustering around "Hey! Whassup with that China!"

    If China has taken up showing Kashmir as a separate nation, this can be a worrisome signal, and perhaps New Delhi should react. This is a good thesis statement.

    But then you dropped it and veered off into some other remarks about China. Some of those could have been good thesis statements too, but they were also not developed.

    In the end, the reader is left wondering what you wanted to write this article FOR. What was its purpose or function? To what end did you create it? What was it about?

    If you write stronger articles, your "writing style" won't make a bit of difference. Your words will carry across "style" and have an impact.

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