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    • Join Date: Oct 2009
    • Posts: 58

    Exclamation Some little help, please

    Hi any suggestions to improve this phrase?
    "For including someone's portrait, The National Portrait Gallery based its selection criteria on two conditions"

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      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
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    • Join Date: Oct 2008
    • Posts: 1,211

    Re: Some little help, please

    For starters, I doubt the official name of the gallery is The National Portrait Gallery, in which case, the article the should not be capitalized in the middle of a sentence.

    Next I notice criteria being based on conditions. Criteria are conditions. It is like saying, they based their selection criteria on two criteria, or selection conditions on two conditions. You mean to say, I believe, that they based their selections on two criteria.

    And speaking of redundancies, you refer to someone's portrait. That is what a portrait is: it is of someone. So just call it a portrait.

    And, by the way, I doubt the National Portrait Gallery hangs much else besides portraits, so why refer to that at all?

    I see nothing gained by the opening phrase in that location. I personally would read it more clearly if it read

    The National Portrait Gallery has two criteria for its selections.

    "Less is more."


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