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    • Join Date: Jun 2008
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    #1

    correct choice of words

    My visit to Disneyland had made a very significant memory in my outlook of that holiday resort.

    What I am trying to say is the visit to Disneyland has left memories of that holiday resort?

    1. Is the sentence natural?

    2. Is the phrase in bold correct?

    Thanks in advance for your help.


    • Join Date: Aug 2009
    • Posts: 1,131
    #2

    Re: correct choice of words

    Quote Originally Posted by Tan Elaine View Post
    My visit to Disneyland had made a very significant memory in my outlook of that holiday resort.

    What I am trying to say is the visit to Disneyland has left memories of that holiday resort?

    1. Is the sentence natural?

    2. Is the phrase in bold correct?

    Thanks in advance for your help.
    I don't think this sentence makes much sense. What is a "memory in your outlook?" For that matter, what is "outlook?"

    I think you should say, "I have memories that will last a lifetime."

    The struggle in writing doesn't usually involve finding the most elaborate and indirect way to say what you mean. There's no struggle to it at all, because it comes only all too easily.

    The struggle is to say what you mean as simply and directly as possible, avoiding dullness by punching up the verbs and nouns -- but not by adding flourishes and indirection.

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