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    • Join Date: Nov 2009
    • Posts: 18
    #1

    Question needs teachers help...please

    i am about taking ILETS exam after month and i really needs your help in improving my writing.. Otherwise i will fail and i will not graduate
    please my dearest teachers or anyone have a slight knowledge in writing academic essays.. i will be really thankful if you helped me
    thanks again..
    this is my first essay i just wrote is and i hope that you teachers can read it and see if it has errors and grammar mistakes and any other mistakes.
    (argument essay part 2 of the writing task)



    There is no doubt that using the wind power is a great idea which has many merits. Although the wind power is a good source of power it is as well has some disadvantages. In this essay, I will look at some of the arguments for and against the bad effect of the wind power and I will present my own opinion in the conclusion.

    There are many reasons why this type of power has a negative effect on people’s life. First and foremost, the wind turbines may become very dangerous to the birds specially the migratory birds. A Second weakness for the wind turbines is its large size and it is need a lot of space. The last negative point for using the wind turbines is that using it is very costly which may affect the economy states.

    On the other hand many people disagree with this view and some of the most objections are as follows. Firstly, the wind power is a safe resource for the environment which is not affecting the earth and not damaging the people’s health as the coal power does. Secondly, it is not causing any dangerous greenhouse gas emissions. One more positive point is that this power douse not produce radioactive waste. Last but not least it is a renewable energy source, which can exist in any time in the human’s life.

    In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of the wind power are outweigh the disadvantages for the reasons that I have outlined above. As I have said, the wind power is a very important thing on the human’s life. This is however a personal view and doesn’t negate the other opinion which as well has some merit.

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    #2

    Exclamation Re: needs teachers help...please

    Quote Originally Posted by Asayel View Post
    i am about taking ILETS exam after month and i really needs your help in improving my writing.. Otherwise i will fail and i will not graduate
    please my dearest teachers or anyone have a slight knowledge in writing academic essays.. i will be really thankful if you helped me
    thanks again..
    this is my first essay i just wrote is and i hope that you teachers can read it and see if it has errors and grammar mistakes and any other mistakes.
    (argument essay part 2 of the writing task)
    There is no doubt that using the wind power is a great idea having [1](which has) many merits. Although the wind power is a good source of [2] energy (power) it (is)[3] as well has some disadvantages. In this essay, I will look at some of the arguments for and against the bad effect of the wind power and (I will)[4] present my own opinion in the conclusion.

    There are many reasons why this type of power has a negative effect on people’s life. First and foremost, the wind turbines may become very dangerous to the birds specially the migratory birds. A Second weakness of[5] (for) the wind turbines is its large size which[6] (and it is) needs a lot of space. The last negative point for using the wind turbines is that being[7] (using it is) very costly it (which) may affect the economy states.

    On the other hand many people disagree with this view and (some of the) most their objections [8]are as follows. Firstly, the wind power is a safe resource for the environment (which is not) neither[9] affecting the earth nor (and not) damaging the people’s health as the coal power does. Secondly, it does (is) not cause (ing) any dangerous greenhouse gas emissions. One more positive point is that this power does not produce radioactive waste. Last but not least it is a renewable energy source, which can exist in any time in the human’s life.

    In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of the wind power (are) outweigh the disadvantages for the reasons that I have outlined above. As I have said, the wind power is a very important thing/utility[10] in (on) the human’s life. This is however a personal view and doesn’t negate the other opinion which as well has some merit.



    [1] Replace the clause by a phrase.

    [2] When you use the word ‘source’ say energy.

    [3] The verb for this clause is ‘has’, so delete ‘is’

    [4] Since this is a compound sentence use common subject and verb ‘I will’

    [5] Preposition ‘of’ shows possession.

    [6] Use a relative pronoun.

    [7] Change the structure ro sound more natural

    [8] Use a noun phrase (underlined) as subject of the secnd clause.

    [9] Use this phrase to simplify the sentence

    [10] This is an alternative. Use if you like.



    See foot notes and delete words underlintd in brackets.


    • Join Date: Nov 2009
    • Posts: 18
    #3

    Smile Re: needs teachers help...please

    dear Sarat
    thanks alot for your help..
    i really appreciate it.

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