Results 1 to 2 of 2

    • Join Date: Nov 2009
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Question Poem With Iambic Pentameter! Please Proof READ!!

    Ok this is a poem I wrote...can you please point out the lines that are not in iambic pentameter and help me fix them!!

    THANKS!! I VERY APPRECIATE IT!!

    a Thee is nothing to me cause what happened
    b I will never forget you in my heart
    a Now we have lost love and we are saddened
    b You have moved along, now our hearts apart
    c I can’t keep you out of my conscious mind
    d But now I decided to move along
    c On my search, I will overlook your kind
    d Now I have found a girl that will love lifelong
    e Both of us will live a life full of love
    f We wont leave each other by any mean
    e Now I can see the doves flying above
    f She shall be the best and my supreme queen
    g I have forever forgotten the past
    g For today I am with her at long last

  1. Raymott's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 24,091
    #2

    Re: Poem With Iambic Pentameter! Please Proof READ!!

    Quote Originally Posted by baller228 View Post
    Ok this is a poem I wrote...can you please point out the lines that are not in iambic pentameter and help me fix them!!

    THANKS!! I VERY APPRECIATE IT!!

    a Thee is nothing to me cause what happened
    b I will never forget you in my heart
    a Now we have lost love and we are saddened
    b You have moved along, now our hearts apart
    c I can’t keep you out of my conscious mind
    d But now I decided to move along
    c On my search, I will overlook your kind
    d Now I have found a girl that will love lifelong
    e Both of us will live a life full of love
    f We wont leave each other by any mean
    e Now I can see the doves flying above
    f She shall be the best and my supreme queen
    g I have forever forgotten the past
    g For today I am with her at long last
    The blue bits are in iambic rhythm. Some lines are in pentameter.
    No lines are properly in iambic pentameter.
    The following line from Shakespeare has five stressed beats per line (pentameter) and in iambic rhythm
    Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

    There should be a stress of the last syllable of each line - the rhyme.
    happened, saddened
    don't fit.
    The first line is wrong. What does it mean?

Similar Threads

  1. go off, road vehicles (proof read)
    By user_gary in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 22-Jun-2007, 22:03
  2. Proof read my easy sentences please
    By Progress in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-Mar-2007, 09:44
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 25-Feb-2007, 18:27
  4. Proof Read my CV...I need it very badly.
    By sweetie_s in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-Feb-2006, 01:14
  5. proof read
    By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 15-Nov-2003, 12:01

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •