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    • Join Date: Nov 2009
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    #1

    Unhappy Urgent ..please teachers..

    i wrote this discustion and i want any one of you teachers to check it for me. because i want to know the grammar Mistakes.. thanks alot here it is,

    Firstly of all, Imtraq Company Sales went down of about eighty and a half percent and the company wants a solution to solve this down trend. As a reason of this fact the company did a meeting with all the managers and during the meeting these issues have been discussed and everyone in the meeting said suggest a valuable and a helpful suggestions.

    Regarding Mr. Sanchez role in the meeting, He was disrespectful for the others opinions especially when he disagreed with Lynda and Mr. Maxwell ideas and did not said his reason for rejecting their suggestions politely. In my point of view he is not effective in convincing the others, he keeps on rejecting their suggestions without a reasonable reason. Furthermore he did not prepare well for the interview because when he was asked about the budgets he keeps on checking his papers.

    One more thing I noticed. Mr. Sanchez have a wrong attitude and he donít care about the meetings rules because firstly his mobile rang, secondly he answered it and thirdly he was talking about his personal matters in front of all his colleagues.

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    #2

    Exclamation Re: Urgent ..please teachers..

    Quote Originally Posted by Asayel View Post
    i wrote this discustion and i want any one of you teachers to check it for me. because i want to know the grammar Mistakes.. thanks alot here it is,

    First (ly) of all, Imtraq Company Sales went down by (of) about eighty and a half percent and the company wanted a solution to solve this downward trend. Consequently, (As a reason of this fact) the company convened (did )a meeting with all the managers where (and during the meeting) all these issues were (have been) discussed and everyone in the meeting made (said suggest a) some valuable and helpful suggestions.

    (Regarding) Mr. Sanchezís role in the meeting was a point in focuss, He was disrespectful towards (for the) others opinions especially when he disagreed with Lynda and Mr. Maxwell ideas without adducing (and did not said his) pertinent reason for rejecting their suggestions politely. In my (point of) view he was (is) not effective in convincing (the) others, he went (keeps) on rejecting their suggestions without conclusive (a reasonable) reason/evidence. Furthermore he did not come prepared well for the interaction (interview) because when he was asked about the budgets he kept on checking his papers.

    One more thing I noticed. Mr. Sanchez has (have) a wrong attitude and he doesnít care about the meetings rules because firstly his mobile rang, secondly he answered it with least hesitation and thirdly he (was) talked (ing) about his personal matters in front of all his colleagues
    Some new words have been added and some against deletion, all in red. Delete the words are in brackets. The text after deletion will be as follows.

    First of all, Imtraq Companyís Sales went down by about eighty and a half percent and the company wanted a solution to solve this downward trend. Consequently, the company convened a meeting with all the managers where all these issues were discussed and everyone in the meeting made some valuable and helpful suggestions.

    Mr. Sanchezís role in the meeting was a point in focus. He was disrespectful towards others opinions especially when he disagreed with Lynda and Mr. Maxwell ideas without adducing pertinent reason for rejecting their suggestions politely. In my view he was not effective in convincing others, he went on rejecting their suggestions without conclusive evudence. Furthermore he did not come prepared well for the interaction because when he was asked about the budgets he kept on checking his papers.

    One more thing I noticed. Mr. Sanchez has a wrong attitude and he doesnít care about the meetings rules because firstly his mobile rang, secondly he answered it with least hesitation and thirdly he talked about his personal matters in front of all his colleagues.


    • Join Date: Nov 2009
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    #3

    Re: Urgent ..please teachers..

    Imtraq's company sales...
    have gone down eight and a half percent : 8 1/2% is too precise to preceded by "about/roughly"

    If 80.05%, then 'about 80%'

    (and the company wants/wanted a solution to reverse this downward trend.

    Whether you use 'went down' or 'have gone down' depends on whether you are reporting on 'past history', such as a case history of what happened to a company and how it went about reversing its fortunes; or, the CEO or someone in the company making an announcement.
    These two are being confused, with yours coming to resemble the minutes of a business meeting, and then the changes suggested by sarat which place it all in the (distant) past.
    Does someone have time to unscramble this for Aseyal?

  1. nedira's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Urgent ..please teachers..

    Quote Originally Posted by Asayel View Post
    i wrote this discustion and i want any one of you teachers to check it for me. because i want to know the grammar Mistakes.. thanks alot here it is,

    Firstly of all, Imtraq Company Sales went down of about eighty and a half percent and the company wants a solution to solve this down trend. As a reason of this fact the company did a meeting with all the managers and during the meeting these issues have been discussed and everyone in the meeting said suggest a valuable and a helpful suggestions.

    Regarding Mr. Sanchez role in the meeting, He was disrespectful for the others opinions especially when he disagreed with Lynda and Mr. Maxwell ideas and did not said his reason for rejecting their suggestions politely. In my point of view he is not effective in convincing the others, he keeps on rejecting their suggestions without a reasonable reason. Furthermore he did not prepare well for the interview because when he was asked about the budgets he keeps on checking his papers.

    One more thing I noticed. Mr. Sanchez have a wrong attitude and he donít care about the meetings rules because firstly his mobile rang, secondly he answered it and thirdly he was talking about his personal matters in front of all his colleagues.
    First of all, Imtraq company' s sales went down by about eighty and a half percent and the company wanted to find a solution for this downward trend.As a result, the company held a meeting with all the managers.During the meeting many essues were discussed and everyone suggested a valuable and a helpful suggestion.
    Mr.Sanchez' s role in the meeting was clearly noticed by the other members. He was disrespectful toward the others' s opinions especially when he rejected Lynda and Mr. Maxwell' s suggestions without providing any reason for that. I think that he was not a convincing person because he just kept on disagreeing and rejecting the members' s suggestions without any reason. Furthermore, he was not well prepared for the meeting because when he was asked about the budgets, he just kept on checking his papers.
    One more thing I noticed about Mr. Sanchez was that hehas a bad attitude and does not respect the meeting' s rules. firstly, his mobil rang during the meeting; secondly, he answered the call and thirdly he talked about his personal matters in front his colleagues.

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