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    #1

    those

    Would you also use "those judgments" again as I did in the sentence below? Or would you use "they"?

    This might be rather surprising considering Walrave and Koch and Doną had made clear that EC law applies to the economic practice of sport and to the rules of sports federations. Those judgments, however, did not set off a barrage of legal challenges against the rules of sports associations—in fact, they went largely unnoticed. Several factors account for this: Those judgments were couched in ambiguous language, and...

    Thanks for the feedback.
    Last edited by Allen165; 12-Nov-2009 at 00:41.

  1. Soup's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: those

    Hello Jasmin165

    I'd use their, not they or those; moreover, made clear and judgments miss the mark semantically: they are vague, unclear, not precise enough.

    This might be rather surprising considering that Walrave, Koch and Doną had made clear that the EC law applies to the economic practice of sport and the rules of the sports federations. Their judgments, however, did not set off a barrage of legal challenges against the rules of the sports associations—in fact, they went largely unnoticed. Several factors account for this: Their judgments were couched in ambiguous language, and...

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    #3

    Re: those

    You totally misunderstood my post. Walrave and Koch and Dona are the names of two judgments. And one would not put the definite article before EC law - trust me. Also, it's "sports federations" and not "the sports federations" since I'm talking about sports federations in general.

  2. Soup's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: those

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasmin165 View Post
    You totally misunderstood my post. Walrave and Koch and Dona are the names of two judgments. And one would not put a definite article before EC law - trust me. Also, it's "sports federations" and not "the sports federations" since I'm talking about sports federations in general.
    Good point, and thank you for the clarification. On that note, you may want to rewrite the paragraph so that your audience understands what it is exactly that you are trying to say. We are, after all, the reason you're writing it, right? Be kind to your readers. Don't assume we should know what you are talking about. That's the first rule of good writing.

  3. konungursvia's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: those

    Quote Originally Posted by Jasmin165 View Post
    Would you also use "those judgments" again as I did in the sentence below? Or would you use "they"?

    This might be rather surprising considering Walrave and Koch and Doną had made clear that EC law applies to the economic practice of sport and to the rules of sports federations. Those judgments, however, did not set off a barrage of legal challenges against the rules of sports associations—in fact, they went largely unnoticed. Several factors account for this: Those judgments were couched in ambiguous language, and...

    Thanks for the feedback.
    "They" would be better, unless you're deliberately emphasizing for rhetorical effect. You're not, so it would sound merely like you forgot to re-read what you'd already put down.

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