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    #1

    Are these Commas Appropriate?

    Am I using commas correctly in the following sentence?

    Stephen Hawking provides a great example of someone who would have been denied healthcare, and the opportunity to make a difference in science, had he been born to a poor family in America.


    The second comma is between a noun and a verb so could that be comma splice?


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    #2

    Re: Are these Commas Appropriate?

    See my version that I tentatively offer to you:

    Stephen Hawking provides a great example of someone who would have been denied healthcare(,) and the opportunity to make a difference in science; who had he been born to a poor family in America.

    Your sentence is ungrammatical not because of punctuation.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Are these Commas Appropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ulysses View Post
    Am I using commas correctly in the following sentence?

    Stephen Hawking provides a great example of someone who would have been denied healthcare, and the opportunity to make a difference in science, had he been born to a poor family in America.


    The second comma is between a noun and a verb so could that be comma splice?
    Your sentence is fine, the section in red is additional information in parenthesis.

  2. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Are these Commas Appropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kondorosi View Post
    See my version that I tentatively offer to you:

    Stephen Hawking provides a great example of someone who would have been denied healthcare(,) and the opportunity to make a difference in science; who had he been born to a poor family in America.

    Your sentence is ungrammatical not because of punctuation.
    Sorry Kondorosi, you are wrong.


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    #5

    Re: Are these Commas Appropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kondorosi View Post
    See my version that I tentatively offer to you:

    Stephen Hawking provides a great example of someone who would have been denied healthcare(,) and the opportunity to make a difference in science; who had he been born to a poor family in America.

    Your sentence is ungrammatical not because of punctuation.
    The red part means "if he had been born to a poor family in America," so it makes the sentence ungrammatical to add who, doesn't it?

  3. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Are these Commas Appropriate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elemoi View Post
    The red part means "if he had been born to a poor family in America," so it makes the sentence ungrammatical to add who, doesn't it?
    Yes it does.

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