help me to correct my letter.?????

[excitekps]

help me to correct my letter.?????

To
The Admin.Manager

Sub: Request for 12 days leave (with out pay)

Dear Sir
This is to request your kind approval for 12 days leave (with out pay) to stay with my family at my home town in the celebration of up coming Christmas Holidays from 19th to 30th December 2009.

I hope will consider my request.

Yours Sincerely
excitekps

[Anglika]

help me to correct my letter.?????

To
The Admin.Manager

Sub: Request for 12 days unpaid leave (with out pay)

Dear Sir Mr XXXXX/Ms YYYYY
This is to request your kind approval for 12 days leave (without pay) to stay with my family at my home town in the celebration of up coming over the forthcoming Christmas Holidays from 19th to 30th December 2009 inclusive.

I hope you will favourably consider my request.

Yours sincerely
excitekps

You should address the manager by name - presumably you know him/her.

[greenisgood]

help me to correct my letter.?????


To
The Admin.Manager

Sub: Request for 12 days leave (with out pay)

Dear Sir
This is to request your kind approval for 12 days leave (with out pay) to stay with my family at my home town in the celebration of up coming Christmas Holidays from 19th to 30th December 2009.

I hope will consider my request.

Yours Sincerely
excitekps

To
The Admin. Manager

Sub: Request for 12 days leave (without pay)

Dear Sir,

This is to I request your kind approval for 12 days of leave (without pay) to stay spend time with my family at in my hometown in for the celebration of upcoming Christmas Holidays celebrations from 19th to 30th December 2009.

I hope you will consider and approve my request.

Yours Sincerely
excitekps

Note other variations for letter subject line:
Request for 12 days of leave without pay
Request for 12 days of unpaid leave
Request for 12 day unpaid leave

Note other variation for letter body:
I request your kind approval for a 12 day unpaid leave to celebrate the upcoming Christmas with my family in my hometown from 19th to 30th December 2009.

[excitekps]

Dear Sir.
thank you very much.

Regards
excitekps

[kevinli]

To: Administration/Manager
Sub: Request for 12 days leave (without pay)

Dear Sir,
I am kindly requesting of your approval for 12 days leave with no pay to stay with my family at my hometown to celebrate the coming of the Christmas holidays from December 19th to the 30th of 2009.

I hope you will consider my request. Thank you!

Yours Sincerely,
excitekps

Comments
OK letter, I would make it longer if you want to actually persuade someone.

Grade
6/10

~Kevin Li

[excitekps]

thank you verry much

regards
excitekps

[excitekps]

Dear Mr.Kevin

Thanks for your valued correction on my letter. Can you make it little bit longer, If you can.
Thank you very much once again

Regards

excitekps