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      • Native Language:
      • Portuguese
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      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Nov 2007
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    #1

    Post Santa Claue

    Please proof read it for me. And help to correct any grammatical errors. Thanks




    Santa Clause

    Santa clause is a very busy man. He travels all over the world. Santa doesn’t spend too much time in one city. Because he is a very busy man, he has to visit all the good kids before Christmas is over.


    Santa carries a lot of gifts for all the good kids. He likes to come to the kid’s house through the chimney just in case any bad person takes away gifts from his sack.


    Why Santa likes to come through a Secret way to give Christmas gifts only at night? Santa keeps only one or two gifts for each kid. Sometimes little kids like to get more and more gifts from Santa but he wants to make sure that everybody gets one. And this is why he visits kids at night while they are all asleep.

    There is another reason why Santa likes to visit kids at night. Sometimes little kids don’t like to see Santa is leaving. They cry a lot for Santa. They love Santa very much. They don’t want to let go Santa. But Santa has to go to give Christmas gifts all over the world. Santa loves all the good kids. He can never stand to see them crying and waiting too long for their gifts.


    • Join Date: Oct 2006
    • Posts: 19,434
    #2

    Re: Santa Claue

    Please: Santa Claus [no "e"]. It is an abbreviation of Saint Niklaus.

    And personally to me a kid is an infant goat. Humans have a child or children.

  1. euncu's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Turkish
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      • Turkey
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      • Turkey

    • Join Date: Aug 2009
    • Posts: 1,314
    #3

    Re: Santa Claue

    Excepting the goat issue, I guess you may use "the well-behaved children" or "the children who have behaved well" instead of "the good kids". It is kinda suggesting that there are evil children as well. Thinking that all children are assumed innocent. I know that as in the English-speaking countries, the Turkish people say their children to be good ones when they don't behave but in the text (in my opinion, of course) it stands out.

    Santa clause is a very busy man. ...Because he is a very busy man . Instead of this kind of repetition, you may write:Santa clause is a very busy man... Since he is very busy

    He likes to come to the kid’s house... As a suggestion "pay a visit" or "call on" instead of "come to" would sound better.

    "Sometimes little kids..." It reminds me a joke in a Woody Allen movie called "Love and Death".Here is the dialogue;

    Sonja (Dianae Keaton) :I wanna have children with you.
    Boris (Woody Allen) :What kind?
    Sonja: Little children.
    Boris :Of course.The big ones are mentally slower.
    Last edited by euncu; 19-Dec-2009 at 16:55.

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