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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hindi
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      • India
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      • Qatar

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 16
    #1

    Please correct my letter..

    Sub: Request for 12 days unpaid leave

    Dear Sir,
    I would like to request your kind approval for 12 days unpaid leave tentatively from 16th to 27th January 2010, so I can attend my sisterís engagement and wedding functions.

    I hope you will consider my request. Thank you!



    Yours Sincerely,

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 6,332
    #2

    Re: Please correct my letter..

    Quote Originally Posted by excitekps View Post
    Sub: Request for 12 days unpaid leave

    Dear Sir,
    I would like to request your kind approval for 12 days unpaid leave tentatively from 16th to 27th January 2010, so I can attend my sisterís engagement and wedding functions.

    I hope you will consider my request. Thank you!



    Yours Sincerely,
    (NOT a teacher) You have written a very nice note. May I make a few suggestions? (1) Perhaps a colon (:) after "Sir" would be more formal and respectful. (2) You may wish to use an apostrophe in "12 days' unpaid...." (3) "So that" is probably more formal than only "so," (4) I don't know why, but I am not comfortable with "functions." Perhaps "ceremonies"? (5) I would not use an exclamation mark (!) after "Thank you." It seems too strong to me. (Of course, American readers are used to "from January 16 to 27, 2010.) Let's see what other posters suggest. Good luck.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Oriya
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      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 2,121
    #3

    Exclamation Re: Please correct my letter..

    Quote Originally Posted by excitekps View Post
    Sub: Request for 12 days unpaid leave

    Dear Sir,
    I would like to request your kind approval for 12 days unpaid leave tentatively from 16th to 27th January 2010, so I can attend my sisterís engagement and wedding functions.

    I hope you will consider my request. Thank you!



    Yours Sincerely,
    Please make the application sober and little stylish. I rewrite as under:

    Dear Sir,
    I would like to inform you that my sisterís engagement and wedding functions/ceremonies are going to be held between 16th to 27th January 2010, where my presence is absolutely essential.

    I will feel obliged if you kindly grant me 12 days unpaid leave tentatively during the said period .


    I hope you will consider my request.

    Thanking you,

    Yours Sincerely,

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