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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    Kindly help me to improve my content


    Everything you always wanted to know about cooking ,baking goodies & yummy treats for friends & family is now at a one stop shop , come discover the various colours of every cuisine at our studio palate.want to give your family the best nutritious ,delicious,scrumptious & easy breakfast ,lunch ,all day snack ,a night out meal,party meal,we've got it all under one roof .at palate we make exotic cooking easy for you ,dishes you always thought were not possible ,let us teach you how easy it is to make everyone happy all you have to do is cook with your heart and voila your dish will be ready with easy to follow instructions.


    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 576
    #2

    Re: Kindly help me to improve my content

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    Everything you always wanted to know about cooking, baking goodies and yummy treats for friends and family is now at a one-stop shop. Come discover the various colours of every cuisine at our studio palate*. We want to give your family the best nutritious, delicious, scrumptious and easy breakfast, lunch, all day snack, a night out meal or party meal. We've got it all under one roof. At (P)alate we make exotic cooking easy for you. Dishes you always thought were not possible, let us teach you how easy it is to make them and make everyone happy. All you have to do is cook with your heart and voil - your dish will be ready using easy to follow instructions.
    (Not a teacher)

    Studio palate -I don't know what this means in terms of your content. Palate is either the roof of the mouth or the sense of taste. If it is the name of your restaurant, then capitalise it - Studio Palate.

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,221
    #3

    Re: Kindly help me to improve my content

    I don't understand what you are selling. Cooking lessons? Gourmet meals to go? A high-class grocery store?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #4

    Re: Kindly help me to improve my content

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    I don't understand what you are selling. Cooking lessons? Gourmet meals to go? A high-class grocery store?
    it's for a cooking class.

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,221
    #5

    Re: Kindly help me to improve my content

    That was my first thought, but then I saw the part about seeing all the "colours of every cuisine" and giving your family these meals, and I was confused.

    Try to simplify this a bit, particularly the sentence that begins with "We want to give your family..."
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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