Please correct my letter!

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anzelkaaa

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Joined
Jan 15, 2010
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Student or Learner
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in response to the job which I saw advertised in the Lietuvos Rytas. I would apply for one of the positions organising sports and social activities.

I have graduated from the Vilniaus university and I have a pedagogue’s qualification. In addition, I received a high grade in English Course. I have had experience in communion with young people because for the last 5 years I have been a kindergartner in kindergarten.

Since I was 9 years old I have started to learn English. So I speak English fairly well. I like working in a team and commune with young people. Also I am interested in Sports and travel.

Thus one of the reason I am applying is my experience in working with children. I believe that I have all necessary skills and qualifications for this post.

Thank you for your time an consideration. I would be happy to attend an interview at a time convenient to you.

Yours faithfully,

Antonia Nes
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in response to the ad for the job which I saw advertised in the Lietuvos Rytas. I would like to apply for one of the positions organising sports and social activities.

I have graduated from the Vilniaus university, and I have a pedagogue’s qualification. In addition, I received a high grade in English Course. I have had experience in talking to young people because for the last 5 years I have been a kindergarten teacher.

Since I was 9 years old I have been speaking English. So I speak English fairly well. I like working as part of a team and talking to young people. Also I am interested in sports and travel.

Thus, one of the reason I am applying is my experience in working with children. I believe that I have all necessary skills and qualifications for this post.

Thank you for your time an consideration. I would be happy to attend an interview at a time convenient to you.

Yours faithfully,

Antonia Nes
:)
 

dgoza

New member
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Member Type
Academic
Allow me to propose a few additional corrections:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing in response to the ad for the job which I saw advertised in the Lietuvos Rytas. I would like to apply for one of the positions organising sports and social activities.

I have graduated from the Vilniaus University, and I have a pedagogue’s qualification. In addition, I received a high grade in my English Course. I have had experience in talking to young people because for the last 5 years I have been a kindergarten teacher.

I have been speaking English since I was 9 years old , so I speak English fairly well. I like working as part of a team and talking to young people. Also, I am interested in sports and travel.

Thus, one of the reasons I am applying is my experience in working with children. I believe that I have all necessary skills and qualifications for this post.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I would be happy to attend an interview at a time convenient for you.

Yours faithfully,

Antonia Nes


 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Additionally, say:
.
I graduated from Vilniaus University.
.
If it is the name of the place, you don't need the article (the). For example, you would say I graduated from St. Louis University (not the St. Louis University).


:)
 
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