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      • Native Language:
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      • Hong Kong
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      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 2,332
    #1

    editing of short passage

    Hi fellow members

    Could some member/s edit the following short passage for me?

    Thanks in advance.


    A few years ago, when I entered the office, I was surprised to see a few of my colleagues from another section there. I was also surprised that I was among the first staff members to reach the office. I was usually among the last persons to reach the office.

    A few minutes later, I thought it must be a public holiday and the staff from the other section were there as they had to supervise the labourers who had to work on that day. To confirm my belief, I checked my pocket calendar and, true enough, it was a public holiday.

    After that, I returned home. I did not tell anybody, including my parents, that I had been so forgetful. Neither did I inform my colleagues the next day about my mistake as I was afraid that they might laugh at me.


    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Oct 2009
    • Posts: 1,704
    #2

    Re: editing of short passage

    Quote Originally Posted by Tan Elaine View Post
    Hi fellow members

    Could some member/s edit the following short passage for me?

    Thanks in advance.


    A few years ago, when I entered the office, I was surprised to see a few of my colleagues from another section there. I was also surprised that I was among the first staff members to reach the office. I was usually one of the last to get there.

    A few minutes later, I thought it must be a public holiday and people from the other section were there, as they had to supervise the labourers, who had to work on that day. To confirm my belief, I checked my pocket calendar and, true enough, it was a public holiday.

    After that, I returned home. I did not tell anybody, including my parents, that I had been so forgetful. Neither did I inform my colleagues the next day about my mistake, as I was afraid that they might laugh at me.

    That's what I see - three commas and some repetitions. I'm not sure if 'on' is needed in "who had to work on that day".
    I am not a teacher.

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