editing of short passage

[Tan Elaine]

Hi fellow members

Could some member/s edit the following short passage for me?

Thanks in advance.


A few years ago, when I entered the office, I was surprised to see a few of my colleagues from another section there. I was also surprised that I was among the first staff members to reach the office. I was usually among the last persons to reach the office.

A few minutes later, I thought it must be a public holiday and the staff from the other section were there as they had to supervise the labourers who had to work on that day. To confirm my belief, I checked my pocket calendar and, true enough, it was a public holiday.

After that, I returned home. I did not tell anybody, including my parents, that I had been so forgetful. Neither did I inform my colleagues the next day about my mistake as I was afraid that they might laugh at me.

 

[mmasny]

Hi fellow members

Could some member/s edit the following short passage for me?

Thanks in advance.


A few years ago, when I entered the office, I was surprised to see a few of my colleagues from another section there. I was also surprised that I was among the first staff members to reach the office. I was usually one of the last to get there.

A few minutes later, I thought it must be a public holiday and people from the other section were there, as they had to supervise the labourers, who had to work on that day. To confirm my belief, I checked my pocket calendar and, true enough, it was a public holiday.

After that, I returned home. I did not tell anybody, including my parents, that I had been so forgetful. Neither did I inform my colleagues the next day about my mistake, as I was afraid that they might laugh at me.

That's what I see - three commas and some repetitions. I'm not sure if 'on' is needed in "who had to work on that day".
I am not a teacher.