Could anybody correct my motivation letter?

Status
Not open for further replies.

okluka

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Please, can any one please help me to correct my motivation letter?



Dear Sir or Madam:



I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Program for my second year in the Bachelor in International Relations. My first option is the University of Bergen, in Norway, in the Faculty of Social Sciences.



[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I am currently studying in the 2nd semester and as my study programme I have chosen specialisation – International Relations and Journalism.[/FONT] Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one semester learning international relations at the University of Bergen.


I have decided to apply for this programme because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover I consider this programme as a great opportunity to get in touch with Scandinavian culture and educational system. Last but not least, I am very curious about different approaches to the international relations at the foreign university.


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]A very obvious reason why the Bergen is an attractive university is its internationality. [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I have learned that this[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] institution has earned the reputation of being Norway’s most international university and this international influence is also apparent and vital in the high profile research fields at the university.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I am planning on taking the following courses that would complete my curricular area: Scandinavian Politics and Government, Scandinavian Area Studies, Democracy and Democratisation. The University of Bergen gives me a chance to get in touch with these subjects through modules from Department of Comparative Politics. I hope the possibilities that gives me University of Bergen further expand those at my home university. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I consider Norway very interesting as it plays an active role in international system as a third party mediator in a number of international conflicts and cornerstones of Norwegian policy are active membership in NATO[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]and support for the United Nations and its specialized agencies. My aim is to deepen my knowledge about model to foreign policy known as the "Norwegian model," and the courses offered by the Faculty of Social Sciences would be good preparation towards this aim.[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Another reason for studying abroad is to learn a new language by immersing myself in the daily life of the country, especially in a non-English speaking country like Norway. I welcome opportunity to learn another one language and I hope a program, held in English, will prepare with vocabulary, useful and necessary for an international future.[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I am able to take courses in English language, in which I am at the level C1. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I am sure that this semester will allow me to broaden my perspective and contribute to my personal development by expanding my knowledge and widening my experience in a variety of academic disciplines. I am convinced this experience would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective profession.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully,
XXX
[/FONT]
 

okluka

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
So I rewrote it. I hope its better. By the way thank you very much for quick answer :-D


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Dear Sir or Madam: [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]
I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Program for my second year in the Bachelor in International Relations. I am currently in the second semester and as my study programme I have chosen to specialize in International Relations and Journalism. Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was delighted to find the opportunity to spend one semester learning international relations at the University of Bergen.
[/FONT]



[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I have decided to apply for this programme because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover, I consider this programme as a great opportunity to learn more about the Scandinavian culture and educational system. Last but not least, I am very curious about different approaches to international relations at a foreign university. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]A very obvious reason why Bergen is an attractive university is its internationality. [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I have learned that this[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] institution has earned the reputation of being Norway’s most international university and this international influence is also apparent and vital in the high profile research fields at the university.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I am planning on taking the following courses: Scandinavian Politics and Government, Scandinavian Area Studies, Democracy and Democratisation. The University of Bergen will give me a chance to learn more about these subjects through modules from the Department of Comparative Politics. I hope that the University of Bergen will help me expand on what I learned at my home university. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I consider Norway very interesting as it plays an active role in the international system as a third party mediator in a number of international conflicts. The cornerstones of Norwegian policy are active membership in NATO[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, serif]and support for the United Nations and its specialized agencies. My aim is to deepen my knowledge about the foreign policy known as the "Norwegian model," and the courses offered by the Faculty of Social Sciences would be good preparation towards this aim.[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Another reason for studying abroad is to learn a new language by immersing myself in the daily life of the country, especially in a non-English speaking country like Norway. I welcome the opportunity to learn another language and I hope a program, held in English, will prepare me with vocabulary, useful and necessary for an international future. I am able to take courses in English, in which I am at the C1 level. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I am sure that this semester will allow me to broaden my perspective and contribute to my personal development by expanding my knowledge and widening my experience in a variety of academic disciplines. I am convinced this experience would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective profession.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely yours,
[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]XXX[/FONT]
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top