I'm not an expert, but here are a few (mostly grammatical) corrections I believe would make this essay sound better.
Here is my writing on the "My Dream House". I would be grateful if someone would review my essay and give me feedback on the sentence structure and grammar of writing.
My Dream House
House is a place where we can shelter and it gives us
aprotection from rain, heat , storm etc. Everyone has their own choice on what type of house they feel comfortable to live in, so do I. I enjoy to liveliving in a calm and open environment, so house built on small land (I'm not sure what you mean by 'small land' here) won't be my choice. I want a large open space surrounded by compound, where I can stroll, especially when I feel bored onat my job. I want thea garden in front of my house, which will give me a natural environment. One more thing to mention here, I want thea house which is far from main city and industrial area since I don't like thea noisy environment. Oh, yeah, what about the size of the house? I prefer the medium size of the house having, which has 2 or 3 floors in it. I don't like very large buildings because I have small family and I don't like to rent my home. I prefer to stay inon the second or ground floor during the summer season because the top floors is excessively heatedheat up excessively during the very hot season, whereas I like to stay inon the second or third floor during the winter, as the ground floor will bebecomes excessively cold during that period. (Try to shorten this sentence or divide it into two) Next thing is abouta gym room, I would like to have a fitness center within my premise as I am a young boy and I want to be a healthy person.
I have mentioned so many physical needs (you mentioned only one of them, actually, - shelter) in my above paragraph (in my paragraph above), but I would like to
conculdeconclude my writingessay by saying that a cool and amicable family environment is must toshould make our homes feel like aheaven. Otherwise, it willwould be ahell, and we would like to spend most of our time outside the home rather than with our famil yies.
Student or Learner