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    • Join Date: Mar 2010
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    #1

    Writting help

    I would like to check my writting for mistakes(feel free to correct everything that not mind). I come from Sweden and I'm studying English for my 1st year, so my English isn't O.K. Thank you a lot, here it is:


    It was a summer day evening. The sun was still shining and the day hasn't finished for anybody in the small town. I was walking near the bridge where some people were fishing and others were sunbathing. I was watching some children playing on it, when I suddenly heard a noise.
    It was Mrs Robinson - a neighbour of mine. Her little dog, called Spinky, was in the water. I knew I had to do something. I took off my hat and bravely jumped in the water. I swim well so it was easy for me to go to the dog and pull it out. It was safe now.
    Everybody were looking at me intently for a while. Then they noisily applauded me. In the end Mrs Robinson come and thnked me. I was proud of myself. She invited me to come to her house to give me a tret. I said that the best reward for me is to help somebody in trouble.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Jun 2006
    • Posts: 2,130
    #2

    Re: Writting help

    not a teacher

    Quote Originally Posted by North_Kras View Post

    It was a summer day(delete day) evening. The sun was still shining and the day hasn't finished (was not over) for anybody in the small town. I was walking near the bridge where some people were fishing and others were sunbathing. I was watching some children playing on it, when I suddenly heard a noise.
    It was Mrs Robinson - (use comma) a neighbour of mine. Her little dog, called Spinky, was in the water. I knew I had to do something. I took off my hat and bravely jumped in the water. I swim well (was a good swimmer) so it was easy for me to go to (reach) the dog and pull it out (to safety). It was safe now.
    Everybody were (was) looking at me intently for a while. Then they noisily applauded me. In the end Mrs Robinson come and thanked me. I was proud of myself. She invited me to come to her house to give me a treat. I said that the best reward for me is to help (was to have helped) somebody in trouble.


    • Join Date: Sep 2006
    • Posts: 77
    #3

    Re: Writting help

    It was one of those evening on a summer's day. The sun was still shining brightly and day had not ended for anybody in this small town. I was walking near the bridge where some people were fishing and few others were sunbathing, when suddenly i heard a noise.
    It was Mrs. Robinshon, a neighbour of mine. Her little dog, called Spinky fell into the water and I knew that I had to do something to help her.I threw my hat and bravely jumped into the water. As i am a good swimmer, it was easy for me to rescue the dog.
    Everyone was looking at me intently for a while.. then they applauded me. Mrs. Robinson approached me and thanked me earnestly.
    I was proud of myself. As a gesture of gratitude, she invited me to her house to treat me. I was very humbled and i said Thanks Mrs Robinson , but i feel that the best reward for me is to help someone who is in trouble.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Ireland

    • Join Date: Apr 2008
    • Posts: 25,624
    #4

    Re: Writting help

    Quote Originally Posted by North_Kras View Post
    I would like to check my writing for mistakes(feel free to correct everything that not mind). I come from Sweden and I'm studying English for my 1st year, so my English isn't O.K. Thank you a lot, here it is:


    It was a summer evening. The sun was still shining and the day hadn't finished for anybody in the small town. I was walking near the bridge where some people were fishing and others were sunbathing. I was watching some children playing when I suddenly heard a noise.
    It was Mrs Robinson - a neighbour of mine, her little dog, Spinky, was in the water. I knew I had to do something. I took off my hat and bravely jumped into the water, I swim well so it was easy for me to get to the dog and pull it out. It was safe now.
    Everybody looked at me intently for a while, then they noisily applauded. In the end Mrs Robinson came and thanked me, I was proud of myself; she invited me to come to her house so that she could give me a treat. I said that the best reward for me was to have helped somebody in trouble.
    A few suggestions/corrections.

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