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  1. Alabady's Avatar
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      • Egypt
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    #1

    Question Dialogue - Please check it <----

    Dear All
    Please check this dialogue for me if there are any mistakes (spilling or grammar or punctuation or any other mistakes)
    --------------------------------
    Yesterday night my brother was walking in the down-town, and he met my old college, who I haven't seen him for ages.
    F: Hey, Good evening.
    B: Good evening KALLEN.
    F: How are you? And how is your brother?
    B: Great thanks.
    F: Where does he work right now? Because I haven't seen him since graduation.
    B: He doesn't work, But he decided to complete his master degree.
    F: It's really nice to hear that, How about you?
    B: I have just finished my studies this year, and I'm looking for a job
    F: From which faculty have you graduated? And what is your major?
    B: I have graduated from the faculty of commerce, and my major is business management.
    F: Good luck, and say hello to your brother.
    B: OK. Good luck to you too.
    F: Bye.
    B: Bye.
    --------------------------------

  2. IHIVG's Avatar
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    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 354
    #2

    Re: Dialogue - Please check it <----

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabady View Post

    Yesterday night my brother was walking in the down-town, and he met my old college (maybe colleague?) , whom I haven't seen him for ages.

    And I think it's 'walking downtown'.

    P.S. 'Spelling', not 'spilling'.

  3. Alabady's Avatar
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    #3

    Second time Editing --- please check it again ...

    Thanks a lot
    and i made many other modifications and i hope to check it again ....



    --------------------------------
    Yesterday at night my brother was walking in Down-town, and he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen him for ages.
    F: Hey, Good evening.
    B: Good evening BILL
    F: How are you? And how is your brother?
    B: Great, thanks.
    F: Where does he work right now, because I haven't seen him since graduation?
    B: He doesn't work, but he decided to complete his master degree.
    F: It's really nice to hear that, What about you?
    B: I have just finished my studies this year and I'm looking for a job.
    F: From which faculty have you graduated? And what is your major?
    B: I have graduated from the faculty of commerce, and my major is business management.
    F: Good luck, and say hello to your brother.
    B: Ok. Good luck to you too.
    F: Good bye.
    B: Good bye.
    --------------------------------

    • Member Info
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      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Oct 2009
    • Posts: 1,704
    #4

    Re: Second time Editing --- please check it again ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabady View Post
    Thanks a lot
    and I made many other modifications and I hope you will check it again ....



    --------------------------------
    Yesterday at night (maybe last night?) my brother was walking in Down-town, and he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen him (no 'him') for ages.
    F: Hey, good evening.
    B: Good evening, BILL (why not 'Bill'?)
    F: How are you? And how is your brother?
    B: Great, thanks.
    F: Where does he work right now, because I haven't seen him since graduation?
    B: He doesn't work, but ('because' would be better) he decided to complete his master degree.
    F: It's really nice to hear that, what about you?
    B: I have just finished my studies this year and I'm looking for a job.
    F: From which faculty have you graduated? And what is your major?
    B: I have graduated from the faculty of commerce, and my major is business management.
    F: Good luck, and say hello to your brother.
    B: Ok. Good luck to you too.
    F: Good bye.
    B: Good bye.
    --------------------------------
    I am not a teacher.

    • Member Info
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      • United States
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      • United States

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    #5

    Re: Second time Editing --- please check it again ...

    Alabady: Nice work. Here are a few suggestions.

    Last night my brother was walking in the downtown area, and he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages.

    From which faculty (Are you referring to an institution? If so, in the U.S. we would use the terms, institution, college, school or university) have you graduated? And what is your major?

  4. Alabady's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Dialogue - Please check it <----

    Thanks a lot for your kind replay :)

  5. Alabady's Avatar
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    #7

    Question Re: Dialogue - Please check it <----

    Please check it again i made some modifications and i tried to write it as a reported speech (I'm waiting for your comments grammar, spelling, punctuations or if you have another expression or word will be more powerful than any word i have wrote just let me know )



    --------------------------------
    Last month my brother was walking in Down-town when he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages.
    F: Hey, good evening.
    B: Good evening, Bill
    F: How are you? And how is your brother?
    B: Great, thanks.
    F: Where is he working right now, because I haven't seen him since graduation?
    B: He isn't working, because he decided to complete his master degree.
    F: It's really nice to hear that, what about you?
    B: I have just finished my studies this year and I'm looking for a job.
    F: Which faculty have you graduated from? And what was your major?
    B: I have graduated from the faculty of commerce, and my major was business management.
    F: Good luck, and say hello to your brother.
    B: Ok. Good luck to you too.
    F: Good bye.
    B: Good bye.
    --------------------------------
    Last month my brother was walking in Down-town when he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages. They greeted each other and my friend asked him how we were. My brother told him that we were great .After that my friend asked him where I was working at that time, because he hadn't seen me since graduation. My brother told him I wasn't working because I had decided to complete my master degree. My friend was delighted to hear that about me, and he asked him what about his status. My brother answered that he had finished his studies that year, and he was looking for a job. Then my friend asked him which faculty he had graduated from, and what his major was. My brother said he had graduated from the faculty of commerce, and his major was business management. My friend wished him good luck and sent me his regards. And they greeted each other.
    --------------------------------

    • Member Info
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      • Polish
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      • Poland
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      • Poland

    • Join Date: Oct 2009
    • Posts: 1,704
    #8

    Re: Dialogue - Please check it <----

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabady View Post
    Please check it again i made some modifications and i tried to write it as a reported speech (I'm waiting for your comments grammar, spelling, punctuations or if you have another expression or word will be more powerful than any word i have wrote just let me know )



    --------------------------------
    Last month my brother was walking in Down-town (You're sticking to it I see. Why not 'in the down town'? Is this a proper name?) when he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages.
    F: Hey, good evening.
    B: Good evening, Bill
    F: How are you? And how is your brother?
    B: Great, thanks.
    F: Where is he working right now, because I haven't seen him since graduation?
    B: He isn't working, because he decided to complete his master degree.
    F: It's really nice to hear that, what about you?
    B: I have just finished my studies this year and I'm looking for a job.
    F: Which faculty have you graduated from? And what was your major?
    B: I have graduated from the faculty of commerce, and my major was business management.
    F: Good luck, and say hello to your brother.
    B: Ok. Good luck to you too.
    F: Good bye.
    B: Good bye.
    --------------------------------
    Last month my brother was walking in Down-town when he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages. They greeted each other and my friend asked him how we were. My brother told him that we were great. After that, my friend asked him where I was working at that time, because he hadn't seen me since graduation. My brother told him I wasn't working because I had decided to complete my master degree. My friend was delighted to hear that about me, and he asked him what about his status (situation maybe?). My brother answered that he had finished his studies that year, and he was looking for a job. Then my friend asked him which faculty he had graduated from, and what his major was (had been). My brother said he had graduated from the faculty of commerce, and his major was (same) business management. My friend wished him good luck and sent me his regards. And ('then' would be better in my opinion) they greeted each other.
    --------------------------------
    Please note that I am not a teacher.
    Last edited by mmasny; 23-Mar-2010 at 17:34. Reason: gram.

  6. Alabady's Avatar
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    #9

    Post Is there any other mistakes ?

    I'm really thankful mmasny ... is there any other mistakes or any thing i have to change

    --------------------------------
    Last month my brother was walking in the down town when he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages.
    F: Hey, good evening.
    B: Good evening, Bill
    F: How are you? And how is your brother?
    B: Great, thanks.
    F: Where is he working right now, because I haven't seen him since graduation?
    B: He isn't working, because he decided to complete his master degree.
    F: It's really nice to hear that, what about you?
    B: I have just finished my studies this year and I'm looking for a job.
    F: Which faculty have you graduated from? And what was your major?
    B: I have graduated from the faculty of commerce, and my major was business management.
    F: Good luck, and say hello to your brother.
    B: Ok. Good luck to you too.
    F: Good bye.
    B: Good bye.
    --------------------------------
    Last month my brother was walking in the down town when he met my old colleague, whom I haven't seen for ages. They greeted each other and my friend asked him how we were. My brother told him that we were great .After that my friend asked him where I was working at that time, because he hadn't seen me since graduation. My brother told him I wasn't working because I had decided to complete my master degree. My friend was delighted to hear that about me, and he asked him about his situation. My brother answered that he had finished his studies that year, and he was looking for a job. Then my friend asked him which faculty he had graduated from, and what his major had been. My brother said he had graduated from the faculty of commerce, and his major had been business management. My friend wished him good luck and sent me his regards. Then they greeted each other.
    --------------------------------

  7. IHIVG's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Dialogue - Please check it <----

    Alabady:

    What's the use of posting the same stuff for the nth time after it has already been revised? Especially when you don't seem to consider some of the suggestions you've been offered...

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