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    • Join Date: Mar 2010
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Smile Which saying is better?

    I read a sentence in New York Times:
    "The vote sent the measure to President Obama, whose yearlong push for the legislation has been the centerpiece of his agenda and a test of his political power."

    I am thinking can it be rewritten as this:
    "The vote sent the measure to President Obama. His yearlong push for the legislation has been the centerpiece of his agenda and a test of his political power."

    What's the true difference between the above two? Which one is better (for writing and speaking)? Is it depend on the context?

    By the way, the whole paragraph is as follows,
    "With the 219-to-212 vote, the House gave final approval to legislation passed by the Senate on Christmas Eve. Thirty-four Democrats joined Republicans in voting against the bill. The vote sent the measure to President Obama, whose yearlong push for the legislation has been the centerpiece of his agenda and a test of his political power."

    Thank you!

  1. kfredson's Avatar

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 700
    #2

    Re: Which saying is better?

    Quote Originally Posted by hamburger View Post
    I read a sentence in New York Times:
    "The vote sent the measure to President Obama, whose yearlong push for the legislation has been the centerpiece of his agenda and a test of his political power."

    I am thinking can it be rewritten as this:
    "The vote sent the measure to President Obama. His yearlong push for the legislation has been the centerpiece of his agenda and a test of his political power."

    What's the true difference between the above two? Which one is better (for writing and speaking)? Is it depend on the context?

    By the way, the whole paragraph is as follows,
    "With the 219-to-212 vote, the House gave final approval to legislation passed by the Senate on Christmas Eve. Thirty-four Democrats joined Republicans in voting against the bill. The vote sent the measure to President Obama, whose yearlong push for the legislation has been the centerpiece of his agenda and a test of his political power."

    Thank you!
    There is no difference. It is purely a matter of style. They are both just fine.


    • Join Date: Mar 2010
    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: Which saying is better?

    Thanks for your reply!

    Is the first one more normal for professional writing, like newspaper?

    I am also thinking, if you look at the whole paragraph, is the reason why they chose the first saying because the paragraph is talking about the "vote" rather than "the president" and thus putting "the president" thing into a sub-sentence makes the overall flow smooth??

  2. kfredson's Avatar

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 700
    #4

    Re: Which saying is better?

    Quote Originally Posted by hamburger View Post
    Thanks for your reply!

    Is the first one more normal for professional writing, like newspaper?

    I am also thinking, if you look at the whole paragraph, is the reason why they chose the first saying because the paragraph is talking about the "vote" rather than "the president" and thus putting "the president" thing into a sub-sentence makes the overall flow smooth??
    The first approach does flow a little better, but it is, again, just a matter of style. I don't notice any difference in meaning.


    • Join Date: Mar 2010
    • Posts: 3
    #5

    Re: Which saying is better?

    Thanks a lot!

  3. kfredson's Avatar

    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 700
    #6

    Re: Which saying is better?

    Quote Originally Posted by hamburger View Post
    Thanks a lot!
    Any time, and welcome to the forum. I suspect you're quite advanced in English, so keep the stylistic questions coming. There are masters of the written word from all over the world here.

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