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    • Join Date: Dec 2009
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    #1

    Could you mark my essay please?

    I would like to know how much I deserve onthis essay


    Independent Media is essential in a modern society. Discuss

    Independent media revolution in Gulf countries can be divided into three main causes. One of chief causes is development. There is a tendency for Gulf governments to believe that they need to develop their countries and eventually have decided to rely on their public. There is no doubt that Saudi Arabia has sent many students to study abroad since 1936. After students have returned, they were given opportunities to inspire business people to make a difference in their lives and the lives of others in the wider community. Assiduously had students begun to spread out their new ideas about independent media, when public were unenthusiastic about it.

    Secondly, people have the right to decide for themselves what they listen, read or watch. Likewise, no one has the right to control someone else's mind. There is no reason to be confused or intimidated by all the talk about the media and other its forms. People are just like every other time-honored form of social media, except they are connected with the external world. That makes them accessible from anywhere, anytime. Therefore it makes a huge difference connected.

    In addition, it seems reasonable to assume that open space and globalisation are factors which participate in increasing the media. Media independence has been steadily increasing obviously in recent years in Gulf nations. Undoubtedly there is no limit to provide any broadcast and consequently the Gulf governments have persuaded that they cannot control every single thing broadcasts in the whole world. It would appear that there are many reasons which motive governments to keep their sanity, however the main reason is their development movement. For instant, to prevent some channels broadcast their programs will defiantly cost them massive amount which they need it to enhance their development. A good example is that when you are a Kuwaiti writer and Kuwait newspapers prevent you to write about some sensitive articles, you can send your articles to any Saudi newspaper which easily reach in the Kuwaiti market.

    On the other hand, There are many various theories about how popular media affects others attitudes, opinion, and manner. Now, I will mention the ones that are most relevant to the real life.
    Although, cognition of human is limited, the news-media consist of extensive amounts of information or knowledge. Really is it much more than any person can possibly handle. Gulf residents devote 90% a lot of time listening to the news. They have a positive impact on their knowledge which has increased, However, This interesting sometimes has a negative reflect on society and country. Saudi Arabia has been suffering for a long time from mass media reflection which appeared in a form of some diseases such as disappointing, sadness, overestimating of things and some demonstrations,(http://squ-edu.com/vb/showthread.php?t=4313).

    Moreover, Most of independent media in the Middle East are free media. Thus one of main recourses of their funding is adverting. For instant, in Gulf countries mass or popular media introduced some poisonous companies such as Nestl which sells contaminated milk to some poor countries.

    Finally, Jacobs N. (1959-1992) said ''twenty or thirty years ago liberal organisations were concerned almost exclusively with questions of social betterment-child labor, woman suffrage, economic insecurity, the exploitation of workers, and so on. These same liberal organisations are today almost as exclusively concerned with the danger of radio, the danger of newspapers, and the bad effects of motion pictures''

    In conclusion, the earlier discussion of this Essay has shown that under no circumstances can we say that independent media is a developmental aspect instead of saying that it is a pressing public demand. However, menace of media is extensive, the effects of it depends on the choice of the objective of the media as the purpose of our lives.


    • Join Date: Dec 2009
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    #2

    Re: Could you mark my essay please?

    !!!!


    • Join Date: Dec 2009
    • Posts: 10
    #3

    Re: Could you mark my essay please?

    It seems that no one wants help. I'm wondering why???

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Could you mark my essay please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Legend_1st View Post
    It seems that no one wants help. I'm wondering why???
    Maybe it looks too long and boring, and there are too many mistakes in it. I'll correct some of it.


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    #5

    Re: Could you mark my essay please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    Maybe it looks too long and boring, and there are too many mistakes in it. I'll correct some of it.
    Actually, it's boring for me either, but someone enforce me to write it. I've check it many time with grammar checker program and I haven't found any mistakes. That's why I ask anyone to check it.

    Thanks for help.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Could you mark my essay please?

    Independent Media is essential in a modern society. Discuss

    TheIndependent media revolution in [the] Gulf countries can be divided into three main causes.
    No, the revolution can't be divided into causes. It can have
    different causes. Perhaps the cause of the revolution can be divided into three contributory factors.


    One of the chief causes is development. There is a tendency for Gulf governments to believe that they need to develop their countries and eventually have decided to rely on their public. There is no doubt that Saudi Arabia has sent many students to study abroad since 1936. After students have returned, they were given opportunities to inspire business people to make a difference in their lives and the lives of others in the wider community. Students assiduously began to spread out their new ideas about an independent media when public were still unenthusiastic about it.

    Secondly, people have the right to decide for themselves what they listen to, read or watch. Likewise, no one has the right to control someone else's mind. There is no reason to be confused or intimidated by all the talk about the media and other its forms. People are just like every other time-honored form of social media, except they are connected with the external world. Huh? People are like other forms of media?
    That makes them accessible from anywhere, anytime. Therefore it makes a huge difference to be/being connected.
    If this section describes the second cause, you should label it with a noun as you have done with 'development' - say, 'personal freedom'.

    In addition, it seems reasonable to assume that open space and globalisation are factors which participate in increasing the media.
    OK, that's development, personal freedom, open space and globalisation. (You have four factors so far). I'd omit 'open space'.

    Media independence has been steadily increasing obviously in recent years in Gulf nations. Undoubtedly there is no limit to providing any broadcast and consequently the Gulf governments have persuaded realised that they cannot control every single thing that is broadcasted in the whole world.

    OK, that's probably enough correcting.

    It would appear that there are many reasons which motive governments to keep their sanity, however the main reason is their development movement. For instant, to prevent some channels broadcast their programs will defiantly cost them massive amount which they need it to enhance their development. A good example is that when you are a Kuwaiti writer and Kuwait newspapers prevent you to write about some sensitive articles, you can send your articles to any Saudi newspaper which easily reach in the Kuwaiti market.


    On the other hand (from what?), There are many various theories about how popular media affects others attitudes, opinion, and manner. Now, I will mention the ones that are most relevant to the real life.
    Although, cognition of human is limited, the news-media consist of extensive amounts of information or knowledge. Really is it much more than any person can possibly handle. Gulf residents devote 90% a lot of time listening to the news. They have a positive impact on their knowledge which has increased, However, This interesting sometimes has a negative reflect on society and country. Saudi Arabia has been suffering for a long time from mass media reflection which appeared in a form of some diseases such as disappointing, sadness, overestimating of things and some demonstrations,( ȿ - ).

    Moreover, Most of independent media in the Middle East are free media. Thus one of main recourses of their funding is adverting. For instant, in Gulf countries mass or popular media introduced some poisonous companies such as Nestl which sells contaminated milk to some poor countries.

    Finally, Jacobs N. (1959-1992) said ''twenty or thirty years ago liberal organisations were concerned almost exclusively with questions of social betterment-child labor, woman suffrage, economic insecurity, the exploitation of workers, and so on. These same liberal organisations are today almost as exclusively concerned with the danger of radio, the danger of newspapers, and the bad effects of motion pictures''

    In conclusion, the earlier discussion of this Essay has shown that under no circumstances can we say that independent media is a developmental aspect instead of saying that it is a pressing public demand. However, menace of media is extensive, the effects of it depends on the choice of the objective of the media as the purpose of our lives.


    You need to pay more attention to articles (the/a). Some passages could have been written by a native speaker, but others require more thought about word choice.

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