It is already crisp and short but sentences are long I am unable to make sentences short, where to break and put full stop and all. Because it is looking very long so please help me....

This issue is packed full of captivating jewellery designs & trends; well-written, lively articles sure to inspire & great offers which you are keenly waiting for, on the auspicious occasion of ‘Aksahaya Tritiiya we bring to you free astrological consultation at Popley stores, 40% off on the range of Tissot Watches. we are proud to present, for the first time ever, our Dial-a-vertu offer.

My edited version:

This issue is packed full of captivating jewellery designs & trends; well-written, lively articles sure to inspire. Also great offers which you are keenly waiting for; on the auspicious occasion of ‘Aksahaya Tritiiya we bring to you free astrological consultation at Popley stores, 40% off on the range of Tissot Watches & for the first time ever, our Dial-a-vertu offer. Kinldy see overleaf for the details.

Can we make it still better?