Please check my letter of motivation asap

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announ

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Oct 1, 2009
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Dear Sir and Madame
I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information to support my application for entrance to International Business/Economics and Business Administration program at the Helsinki School of Economics for 2010 – 2014 years.
My name is Viktoriya Kuznetsova. I was born in Tashkent, Uzbekistan 6 august 1989 and I am currently living in Helsinki. My future university studies were always very important to me. When a was in high school I got some basic education of business and economics and by the time I graduated from school I already knew for sure that I want my future education and job be related to economics. Furthermore, my school was English speaking, thus I have been learning English since my early years.
After the high school I moved to Kiev, Ukraine, where I entered the Kiev National Economic University (KNEU). I studied there for the next three years. My major was International Affairs. Studying in KNEU strengthened my confidence in my choice, but I was looking for an opportunity to study in English. My sister, a full time student at HSE, told me about the Open University courses. I decided to take some of them and moved to Helsinki. I really enjoyed the studying process and met a lot of interesting, intelligent and hardworking students there from all over the world. Moreover I really loved Helsinki. Although the weather here is quite cold I really liked that the city is very safe and clean. After studying for a half of a year as Open University student I decided to apply for full time program. I am sure that in HSE I will get a high quality education in the field of business and economics which will equip me with the advanced intellectual, professional and technical skills.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I am going to look for some part job and take an active part in student life of the school. Thinking of my future plans, after a graduation I would like to return back to Kiev and use obtained knowledge there. I believe that HSE is the right place to get knowledge and skills to make my plans happen.
Thank you for considering my application

Sincerely yours
Viktoriya Kuznetsova
 

telaviv1

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Apr 14, 2010
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I would drop the first sentence. its not useful and there is already a lot to read. Try to imagine how the person who has to read loads of these letters feels when they read the letter.


If you want to say thank you do it at the end and separate it from the rest.
Jonathan
 
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