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  1. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #1

    Please help to make it short

    Kindly check my para below I want to make it shorter if possible & also tell me if it should be in past or future tense
    The reins of the company are in the hands of Mr. Lokesh Bali, a veteran of Celebrity management, who has been in the field of Bollywood since 1993. He had produced Zaalim starring Akshay Kumar, Superhit Masoom (the movie specially known for the hit song "chota baccha jaanke"), associated with the production of X-Zone (Episode – I). Hence, he has goodwill in the Bollywood, the most vibrant (artistic) brush to paint success with precision. He had successfully executed events both in India and abroad, like "Nayaa Andaaz"a big event in Surat, a Punjabi comedy show (mention the name) telecasted on Doordarshan channel, many successful documentaries; one of them was "HATYA," movie based on environment and communal harmony.Currently,he is looking after AKshay Kumar’s business & managing his venture - Paint Arts.
    Regards,

  2. fighting spirit's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • Serbian
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      • Serbia
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      • Serbia

    • Join Date: Jan 2010
    • Posts: 199
    #2

    Re: Please help to make it short

    Why do you want to make it shorter. It sounds good as it is.

  3. GuidanceHD
    Guest
    #3

    Re: Please help to make it short

    Quote Originally Posted by fighting spirit View Post
    Why do you want to make it shorter. It sounds good as it is.
    I thought so too.

  4. new2grammar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Punjabi
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: May 2008
    • Posts: 880
    #4

    Re: Please help to make it short

    Quote Originally Posted by GuidanceHD View Post
    I thought so too.
    what about the tense it is correct to use past tense or everythg need to be in present tense...

  5. GuidanceHD
    Guest
    #5

    Thumbs up Re: Please help to make it short

    Quote Originally Posted by new2grammar View Post
    Kindly check my para below I want to make it shorter if possible & also tell me if it should be in past or future tense
    The reins of the company are in the hands of Mr. Lokesh Bali, a veteran of Celebrity management, who has been in the field of Bollywood since 1993. He had has produced Zaalim starring Akshay Kumar, Superhit Masoom (the movie specially known for the hit song "chota baccha jaanke"), associated with the production of X-Zone (Episode – I). Hence, he has goodwill in the Bollywood, the most vibrant (artistic) brush to paint success with precision. He had has successfully executed events both in India and abroad, like "Nayaa Andaaz"a big event in Surat, and a Punjabi comedy show (mention the name) telecasted on Doordarshan channel. In addition, he has produced/made many successful documentaries; one of them was "HATYA," a movie based on environment and communal harmony.Currently,he is looking after (also attend to) AKshay Kumar’s business & managing his venture - Paint Arts.
    Regards,
    It sounds quite fine for me now. Well done.
    Fragrant Regards,,,

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