[Essay] Language learning strategies

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goliwka

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I am not a native speaker of English and I was wondering if you could help me...
I wanted to start my work like this but I'm not sure if this is correct. I would greatly appreciate your comments on the sentence below.

"As the world becomes smaller, and business is conducted globally and individuals travel more and more, the study of foreign languages is increasing. But what makes some learners successful and others not so successful? "
 

TheParser

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I am not a native speaker of English and I was wondering if you could help me...
I wanted to start my work like this but I'm not sure if this is correct. I would greatly appreciate your comments on the sentence below.

"As the world becomes smaller, and business is conducted globally and individuals travel more and more, the study of foreign languages is increasing. But what makes some learners successful and others not so successful? "


***** NOT A TEACHER *****

Good morning, goliwka.

(1) What you say is, indeed, very true.

(2) I might say something like:

The study of foreign languages is increasing because more and more

people are traveling as they engage in the global economy. But what

makes some learners more successful than others?

Have a nice day!
 

emsr2d2

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I am not a native speaker of English and I was wondering if you could help me...
I wanted to start my work like this but I'm not sure if this is correct. I would greatly appreciate your comments on the sentence below.

"As the world becomes smaller, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] business is conducted globally and individuals travel more and more, the study of foreign languages is increasing. But what makes some learners successful and others not so successful? "

I think this is a good sentence. My only amendment would be to remove the first "and" (as I have done above). You are stating three things:
1) The world becoming smaller
2) Business being conducted globally
3) Individuals travelling more and more

You only require "and" before the last one.
 
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