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  1. #1
    Over the top's Avatar
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    please rephrase this sentence

    Hello
    I have written this sentence but I don't like it

    They murder some people but they get a way with their crime(have not been charged) with the help of the local police who some of them were their relatives.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Re: please rephrase this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by Over the top View Post
    Hello
    I have written this sentence but I don't like it

    They murder some people but they get a way with their crime(have not been charged) with the help of the local police who some of them were their relatives.

    Thank you.
    They get away with murder with the help of the local police who, some of them were their relatives.

    not at teacher

    The keywords are underlined.

    not a teacher

  3. #3
    Over the top's Avatar
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    Re: please rephrase this sentence

    Thank you very much, Gill and tedtmc.

  4. #4
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    Re: please rephrase this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by Over the top View Post
    Hello
    I have written this sentence but I don't like it

    They murder some people but they get a way with their crime(have not been charged) with the help of the local police who some of them were their relatives.

    Thank you.
    They get away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom were their relatives.
    (I don't think the previous sentences are correct).

  5. #5
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
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    Re: please rephrase this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    They get away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom are their relatives.
    .
    Agreed.

  6. #6
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    Re: please rephrase this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    They get away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom were their relatives.
    (I don't think the previous sentences are correct).
    I think there's a tense problem here. You have "get away" in the present tense, but "some of whom were" in the past tense.

    I would have thought it was more likely to be:

    They got away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom are their relatives.

    Presumably their relatives who work for the police are still their relatives!

    If the people concerned regularly get away with murder, then the present tense would be appropriate, talking about a frequent occurrence. If that is the case, then the present tense would be used in both halves of the sentence:

    They get away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom are their relatives.

  7. #7
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Re: please rephrase this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I think there's a tense problem here. You have "get away" in the present tense, but "some of whom were" in the past tense.

    I would have thought it was more likely to be:

    They got away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom are their relatives.

    Presumably their relatives who work for the police are still their relatives!

    If the people concerned regularly get away with murder, then the present tense would be appropriate, talking about a frequent occurrence. If that is the case, then the present tense would be used in both halves of the sentence:

    They get away with murder with the help of the local police, some of whom are their relatives.
    Yes, that's true. I conflated the previous answers.
    My main point was to state that the following corrections are seriously wrong:

    "police who some of them are/were their relatives." and
    "police, some of them who are/were their relatives."

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