[Grammar] Are these sentences ok?

[Pana Topoonyanont]

I'm writing new lyrics but I'm not sure if the following sentences are correct or not...

1. "When you're near, I feel so warm." << Is this one OK? it sounds ok in my opinion though.
2. Should I say "You are near, when I'm afraid." or "When you are near, I'm afraid." or neither are correct (I want it to sound like she's always beside me when there's something makes me afraid, but I want the word "near" and make the sentence get shorter).

Thank you so much

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm writing new lyrics but I'm not sure if the following sentences are correct or not...

1. "When you're near, I feel so warm." << Is this one OK? it sounds ok in my opinion though.
2. Should I say "You are near, when I'm afraid." or "When you are near, I'm afraid." or neither are correct (I want it to sound like she's always beside me when there's something makes me afraid, but I want the word "near" and make the sentence get shorter).

Thank you so much

Sentence 1 is fine.

The problem you have with sentence 2 is that in both of your examples (especially the second one), it sounds like the reason that you're afraid is because the other person is near! It sounds like she frightens you! I haven't been able to come up with something shorter that also includes the word "near".

 

[Pana Topoonyanont]

Sentence 1 is fine.

The problem you have with sentence 2 is that in both of your examples (especially the second one), it sounds like the reason that you're afraid is because the other person is near! It sounds like she frightens you! I haven't been able to come up with something shorter that also includes the word "near".

Thank you so much! Don't worry about the second one. It's just optional.