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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
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      • China
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    • Posts: 188
    #1

    Smile A sentence

    1 Foreign buyers are accused of pushing home prices to dangerous heights in a phenomenon that prime-time current affairs programs have increasingly put to air. ---taken from www.brisbanetimes.com.au

    2 Prime-time current affairs programs have increasingly put it to air that foreign buyers being accused of pushing home prices to dangerous hights . ---by me

    Dear teachers,

    I am reading a book teaching how to write idiomatic sentences. In light of that book, "situation" or "phenomenon" ect. are particularly dangerous words that should be avoided as they always drag redundant words. It also tells the reader "use simple sentence, other than complex one". Thus, I revised the first one. Could you tell me whether my revision works for you? Thanks.


    LQZ

    • Member Info
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      • Chinese
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      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: May 2007
    • Posts: 845
    #2

    Re: A sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by LQZ View Post
    1 Foreign buyers are accused of pushing home prices to dangerous heights in a phenomenon that prime-time current affairs programs have increasingly put to air. ---taken from www.brisbanetimes.com.au

    2 Prime-time current affairs programs have increasingly put it to air that foreign buyers being(?) accused of pushing home prices to dangerous heights . ---by me

    Dear teachers,

    I am reading a book teaching how to write idiomatic sentences. In light of that book, "situation" or "phenomenon" ect. are particularly dangerous words that should be avoided as they always drag redundant words. It also tells the reader "use simple sentence, other than complex one". Thus, I revised the first one. Could you tell me whether my revision works for you? Thanks.


    LQZ
    (Not a teacher)

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Jun 2006
    • Posts: 2,130
    #3

    Re: A sentence

    Your reconstructed sentence does not sound natural or logical.
    You have changed the subject of the sentence(the focus of the issue) from 'foreign buyers' to 'TV programs'(the media), which should not be the case.

    not a teacher

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
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    • Join Date: Sep 2009
    • Posts: 188
    #4

    Re: A sentence

    Thank you both.

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