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  1. Judyp5552
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    #1

    How do you say?

    This is from a letter of acceptance for a job. My background check will include a financial check so I'm looking for a better way to say:
    Unfortunately, due to a change in employment and lack of financial support, along with the economic downturn, we did suffer some financial hardships. We are working very hard to repair the damage to our credit and I hope that this does not reflect poorly on my abilities to secure this position.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • UK
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      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,838
    #2

    Re: How do you say?

    Quote Originally Posted by Judyp5552 View Post
    This is from a letter of acceptance for a job. My background check will include a financial check so I'm looking for a better way to say:
    Unfortunately, due to a change in employment and lack of financial support, along with the economic downturn, we did suffer some financial hardships. We are working very hard to repair the damage to our credit and I hope that this does not reflect poorly on my abilities to secure this position.
    This is very well-written already. There are only a few points I would make:

    1) I would change "We" to "I". I assume you are the only person accepting the job so you should only refer to your own financial situation, not that of anyone else.

    2) Instead of "working very hard to...", I would say "I am in the process of rectifying the situation with my credit rating....."

    3) Instead of "reflect poorly on my abilities......", I would say "I hope this does not have an adverse effect on any decision to employ me".

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