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  1. Unregistered

    rephrasing this paragraph

    Marriage between two relatives or cousins is strictly forbidden in our country. Although racism and sexism still exist, our culture has formed a society in which we have to ignore these social forces upon us. Sex trafficking is stringently banned in our country. It is prohibited to force women into sexual prostitution or slavery. These are all taboo to American citizens. But, despite our laws, Muslim tradition requires polygamy in their society. Countries also accept homosexuality as the nature of life. Although sex trafficking is forbidden in America, it is tolerated in many other poverty stricken countries.

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
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    Re: rephrasing this paragraph

    How is this a paragraph instead of a bunch of sentences thrown together? What is the theme? What is the unifying thought? What do you want your reader to do with this information?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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