[Essay] Please some one check my essay. I am going to take toefl ibt exam in 7 days.Thanks!

[Black_Scorpion]

Leadership is the peak of every person’s career who eager to reach this point of life. Being leader is very crucial and important because of its several responsibilities such as self improvement and attempt to create ideas and projects in order to help society. There were a lot of leaders such as F. Kennedy and Martin Luther who had dedicated their lives to create democratic society and to help innocent people. However, I believe that there are other leader who had also helped people and created subtle society. One of them is H. Aliyev, one of the most important presidents of Azerbaijan.

First and foremost, his attempts and opinions had made Azerbaijan well-known and developed country. Firstly, he has developed our army and made it one of the most powerful armies because of the occupation twenty percent of our territories. And moreover, now we can resist even more powerful and good constructed armies. Creating a good constructed army is the excellent onset of well designed republic and the key of the development.

In addition, he has signed a lot of crucial projects in order to transport our important resource-oil- to other countries. These projects helped us to construct a democratic republic and not be dependable on other republics. In order utilize this type of resources he has brought a lot of up-to-dated mechanical devises and machines. And moreover, everybody know that oil is the most important resources in the world, because, it can be made fuel and other vital things

Finally, in modern countries unemployment is very big problem. In order to decrease the number of jobless people he has built a lot of working places, such as industrial plants, factories and so on. Decreasing jobless people helped our country to be more powerful. Because, there are a lot of working places now and it increases the speed of development.

In conclusion, I would like to sum up and summarize again that H. Aliyevs’s crucial and important ideas and steps have made our country very powerful. Because, we are not dependable on other countries now.

 

[IHIVG]

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Leadership is the peak of every person’s career who eager to reach this point of life. (This is a pretty useless piece and it doesn’t fit grammatically; I suggest that you delete it.) Being a leader is very crucial and important because of its several responsibilities such as self-improvement and attempt to create ideas and projects in order to help society. There were a lot of leaders such as F. Kennedy and Martin Luther, who had dedicated their lives to creating democratic society and [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] helping innocent people. However, I believe that there are other leaders who had also helped people and created subtle society. One of them is H. Aliyev, one of the most important presidents of Azerbaijan.

First and foremost, his attempts and opinions had made Azerbaijan a well-known and developed country. Firstly, he has developed our army and made it one of the most powerful armies because of the occupation twenty percent of our territories. (because twenty percent of our territory was occupied.) And moreover, now we can resist even more powerful and good constructed armies. (Now we can put up even more resistance because we have a powerful and well-constructed army.) Creating a good constructed (well-constructed) army is an excellent onset of building a well-designed republic as well as the key [STRIKE]of the[/STRIKE] to development.

In addition, he has signed a lot of crucial projects in order to transport our important resource –oil - to other countries. These projects helped us to construct a democratic republic and not be dependent [STRIKE]dependable[/STRIKE] (dependable means reliable) on other republics. In order to utilize these [STRIKE]type of[/STRIKE] resources he has brought a lot of up-to-date[STRIKE]d[/STRIKE] mechanical devices and machines. And moreover, everybody knows that oil is the most important resource[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] in the world, (Water, for example, is far more important, maybe you could say ‘fossil resource’ to make it clearer.) because, it can be made fuel and other vital things (because various sorts of fuel are made from oil)

Finally, in modern countries, unemployment is a very big problem. In order to decrease the number of jobless people he has built a lot of working places, such as industrial plants, factories and so on. Decreasing jobless people (you can’t decrease people) Reducing the unemployment rate has helped our country to be more powerful. Because, there are a lot of working places now and it increases the speed of development.

In conclusion, I would like to sum up and summarize again that H. Aliyevs’s crucial and important ideas and steps have made our country very powerful. Because, we are not [STRIKE]dependable[/STRIKE] dependent on other countries now.