[Essay] Please comment on my writing,thanks a lot

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markbaumol

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i will take ielts test next week.please help me to check following short essay. many thanks

Some people say personality is more important than professional training as managers and leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

There has never been a consensus on what distinctive characteristics will lead to success for a leader. Some people assert that a charming nature is preferable to expertise, while others think otherwise. As far as I am concerned, both two are essential for a competent manager.

No one could deny the fact that professional training will equip managers with sufficient knowledge for completing their tasks. To begin with, acting as a competent supervisor for a team, he should possess adequate technical skills to ensure the quality of the project and prepare to address any problems rising from due course. However, the knowledge learned from college and existing experience can not always provide solutions due to the complexity and variability of different scenarios. Therefore, training courses afford leaders the chance to broad their professional outlooks and upgrade their skills, thereby boosting the efficiency and effectiveness of their work. Moreover, the social, scientific and technological advancement often render existing knowledge obsolete, which requires managers to take trainings to update their knowledge, so that they can keep up with the latest fashion in their fields.

As for the nature of leaders, it will exert pivotal impact on their relationship with their subordinates and performance as well. It is the teamwork that leads to the success of a project. A leader with sound personality knows the best way to deal with the relationship and balance the interests between different individuals so as to unify them as a highly effective team. Also not only can these managers instill a passion for the job to the team, but also they can bring optimism when the group are facing difficulties. Thus managers’ personality is highly correlated with the final outcome of a project.


In conclusion, a sound personality and continuous professional trainings are both indispensable for managers to provide first tier performance. Trainings will keep leaders in line with latest development, while sound personality helps build up a first-class team for the task.
 

tedtmc

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i will take ielts test next week.please help me to check following short essay. many thanks

Some people say personality is more important than professional training as managers and leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

There has never been a consensus on what distinctive characteristics will lead to success for a leader. Some people assert that a charming nature is preferable to expertise, while others think otherwise. As far as I am concerned, both [STRIKE]two[/STRIKE] are essential for a competent manager.

No one could deny the fact that professional training will equip managers with sufficient knowledge for completing their tasks. To begin with, acting as a competent supervisor for a team, he should possess adequate technical skills to ensure the quality of the project and prepare to address any problems arising from in due course. However, the knowledge learned from college and existing experience can not cannot always provide solutions due to the complexity and variability of different scenarios. Therefore, training courses afford leaders the chance to broaden their professional outlooks and upgrade their skills, thereby boosting the efficiency and effectiveness of their work. Moreover, the social, scientific and technological advancement often render existing knowledge obsolete, which requires managers to take trainings to update their knowledge, so that they can keep up with the latest fashion development in their fields.

[STRIKE]As for [/STRIKE]The nature of leaders[STRIKE], it[/STRIKE] will exert pivotal impact on their relationship with their subordinates and performance as well. It is the teamwork that leads to the success of a project. A leader with sound personality knows the best way to deal with the relationship and balance the interests between different individuals so as to unify them as a highly effective team. Also not only can these managers instill a passion for the job to into the team, but also they can bring optimism when the group are facing difficulties. Thus managers’ personality [STRIKE]is [/STRIKE]highly correlate[STRIKE]d [/STRIKE]with the final outcome of a project.


In conclusion, a sound personality and continuous professional trainings are both indispensable for managers to provide first tier performance. Trainings will keep leaders in line with latest development, while sound personality helps build up a first-class team for the task.
.
 
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markbaumol

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Apr 27, 2010
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Student or Learner
thank you so much for your prompt reply, tedtmc:-D
hopefully i will get the mark i need~
 
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