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  1. syaz
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    #1

    can u mark my writing and give the band

    hi...i want to ask you favor to marked my writing paper...i will be taking ielts this coming saturday...am i manage to get band 6 in writing if my writing style is like this one?thanks!

    question: Some people think men and women have different natural abilities that make them suitable for different type of work. Others however, believe that both men and women can be equally suited to do any type of work. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    my answer:


    Back in 20th century, we can see lots of discrimination that involve men and women. Last time, there is a belief that women must only stay at house managing children while the men went out to work. However, this idea is not relevant to be applied in this new modern generation world. Women now are very independent and can stand on their own feet. The discussion on this hot issue has attracts many attention from the whole world.

    Some people tend to agree that both of the gender have different traits that will make them unique. This opinion is supported by the natural characters that had existed in male and female since they were born. We always associate women with tenderness and kind heated while for the men, they always being connect with toughness and not easily give up in their works. If we can take an example, most of the person that are connected to education fields such as teachers are the ladies which contradicts with the large number of men are involve in protecting the countries as the policemen.

    Despite, there is also belief that both of the gender are the same and can suit to do anything. Looking to the development world today, it is possible for women and men doing the same job because now, they are given the same opportunities to study and doing work without bias by the gender type. This phenomenon is happening regarding the exposure of the female to the outside world and it has broadened their thinking. It is not weird nowadays if we see female engineers or architects are working at the site.

    It seems to me that we do not have to judge person by its gender. It is clearly state in the passage that the persons’ ability is not depends on their sex. As the conclusion, as long as the person can do their works, other things like the gender type not really concern.

    (326 words)

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: can u mark my writing and give the band

    Quote Originally Posted by syaz View Post
    hi...I want to ask you a favor - to please marked my writing paper. I will be taking ielts IELTS this coming Saturday. amWill I manage to get a band 6 in writing if my writing style is like this one? Thanks!

    Question: Some people think men and women have different natural abilities that make them suitable for different types of work. Others, however, believe that both men and women can be equally suited to do any type of work. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    My answer:


    Back in the 20th century, we can see saw lots of discrimination that involved men and women. Last time (?? last time? When? Perhaps you mean "At that time"), there is was a belief that women must should only stay at house home managing looking after/taking care of the children while the men went out to work. However, this idea is not relevant to be applied in this new modern generation world. Women now are very independent and can stand on their own two feet (it's an idiom "to stand on your own two feet"). The discussion on this hot issue has attractsed many a lot of attention from the whole world.

    Some people tend to agree that both (of the) genders have different traits that will make them unique. This opinion is supported by the natural characters characteristics that had existed in male and female men and women since from the day they were are born. We always associate women with tenderness and kind heated kind-heartedness, while for the men they are always being connected with toughness and not giving up easily give up in their works. If we can take As an example, most of the person people that who are connected to education fields, such as teachers, are the ladies women, which contradicts with in contrast to the large number of men who are involved in protectingion, the countries such as the policemen.

    Despite this, there is also a belief that both (of the) genders are the same and can are suited to doing anything. Looking to at the developmented world today, it is possible for women and men doing to do the same job because now they are given the same opportunities to study and doing to work without gender bias by the gender type. This phenomenon is happening regarding due to the exposure of the female women to the outside world and it which has broadened their thinking. It is not weird nowadays if we to see female engineers or architects are working at the building sites.

    It seems to me that we do not have to should not judge a person by its their gender. It is clearly stated in the passage that the a person's ability is does not depend on their sex. As the In conclusion, as long as the person can do their works job, other things like their gender type, not really concern do not really matter.
    I don't know the banding system with IELTS, but I have made some corrections and notes to your writing which may help in your exam. I'm sure someone else will be able to give you an idea what band you would have been in with your original piece.

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