Professional Carrer Training - Cover letter checking

[yaninja]

Hello, i'm a french dude [FONT=&quot]writing to explore the possibility of participating in a paid training program in USA!

I need a professionnal sight on my cover letter for grammar-vocabulary and conjugaison!

Thanx you in advance:

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[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]Dear Ms. X[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]I am writing to explore the possibility of participating in a paid training program in your company. My studies in Marketing and International Trade have provided me with the knowledge to apply my business and analytical skills to different business scenarios. I have an avid interest in Information technology, and I believe that an Internship position with XY will provide me with unparalleled experience in business strategy. As you can see from my attached resume, my profile could correspond to what you are looking for.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]My experience as technical seller with Maxima Exell in Luxembourg inspired my enthusiasm for trading, as well as granted me experience in applying my knowledge by collaborating in teams. During this position, I led a team of four on marketing initiatives for the festive season. The team presented a comparative study showing turnover rising until twenty percent in relation to the previous period.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Constantly striving for improvement I have encountered many new challenges. I enjoy working on teams and have had significant experience through my extracurricular activities where I hold several responsible positions. Currently I'm in charge of a rental property including management, maintenance, underwriting insurance and accounting. I feel my strong work ethic and analytical, creative mind would equip me to contribute meaningfully to COMPANIE NAME as an Associate.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]In regards to my legal eligibility to train with your organization, I would be participating in the J-1 Visa Professional Career Training program, sponsored by the Council on International Educational Exchange [CIEE]. XY[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]As my sponsor, CIEE is authorized by the U.S. government to issue the necessary documentation for me to obtain a J-1 visa, which allows me to train legally in the U.S for up to 18 months. I will also arrive with my sponsor provided, full coverage health insurance. Please see the following link for the details of this private health insurance: XY[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]By participating in the J-1 Visa program, I will be exempt from the following taxes:[/FONT]

• [FONT=&quot]Social Security Taxes (FICA)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Federal Unemployment Taxes (FUTA)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Further information on tax exemptions in the J-1 program can be found on CIEE’s website: XY[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I look forward to hearing from you soon and I strongly believe that my motivation, personal skills and studies will allow me to excel in a training position with you. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sincerely,[/FONT]

 

[yaninja]

Thank you so much for your help!

I kept the infomation between the brackets because the person who will hire me could be interested on money sparing :-D

In france we call "saison des fêtes" for "the sales" that's why I writted "festive season"

I was well trying to say that "sales rose by 20% over the previous period?" Thanks

I posted my correction in case of interested people:

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Dear Ms. X,
I am writing to explore the possibility of participating in a paid training program in your company. My studies in Marketing and International Trade have provided me with business and analytical skills applicable to different business scenarios. I have an avid interest in Information Technology, and I believe that, as an intern with XY, I will be able to contribute much to the company. As you can see from my attached resume, my profile corresponds to what you are looking for.

My experience as technical seller with Maxima Exell in Luxembourg inspired my enthusiasm for trading, as well as gave me experience in applying my knowledge by collaborating in teams. While holding this position, I led a team of four on marketing initiatives for the sales. The team presented a comparative study showing sales rising until twenty percent over the previous period.

Constantly striving for improvement, I have encountered many new challenges. I enjoy working on teams and have had significant experience through my extracurricular activities where I held several responsible positions. Currently, I'm in charge of a rental property including management, maintenance, underwriting, insurance and accounting. I feel my strong work ethic and analytical, creative mind equips me to contribute meaningfully to XY as an Associate.
In regards to my legal eligibility to train with your organization, I would be participating in the J-1 Visa Professional Career Training program, sponsored by the Council on International Educational Exchange [CIEE].

As my sponsor, CIEE is authorized by the U.S. government to issue the necessary documentation for me to obtain a J-1 visa, which allows me to train legally in the U.S for up to 18 months. I will also arrive with my sponsor provided, full coverage health insurance.
By participating in the J-1 Visa program, I will be exempt from the following taxes:

• Social Security Taxes (FICA)
• Federal Unemployment Taxes (FUTA)

I look forward to hearing from you soon. I strongly believe that my motivation, personal skills and studies will allow me to excel in a training position with you.
Sincerely,