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Thread: Comma

  1. #1
    Allen165 is offline Key Member
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    Comma

    Would you have placed a comma before "and sports federations" as I did?

    The Commission called upon national authorities to clarify their rules in order to safeguard the current structures and the social function of sport, and sports federations to define their missions and statutes more precisely.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Comma

    It doesn't read very smoothly, but the problem is clear. How about changing called upon to urged or something similar? That seems to flow a bit better to me, and could be repeated, while just sticking in upon seems a bit lonely and repeating the phrasal verb is excessive. I don't know if urge is too strong a translation, but something along those lines might work.

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    Allen165 is offline Key Member
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    Re: Comma

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    It doesn't read very smoothly, but the problem is clear. How about changing called upon to urged or something similar? That seems to flow a bit better to me, and could be repeated, while just sticking in upon seems a bit lonely and repeating the phrasal verb is excessive. I don't know if urge is too strong a translation, but something along those lines might work.
    I actually have to use "call upon."

    Would you say that the sentence is understandable and grammatical as it is?

    Thanks!

  4. #4
    bertietheblue is offline Senior Member
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    Re: Comma

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    It doesn't read very smoothly, but the problem is clear. How about changing called upon to urged or something similar? That seems to flow a bit better to me, and could be repeated, while just sticking in upon seems a bit lonely and repeating the phrasal verb is excessive. I don't know if urge is too strong a translation, but something along those lines might work.

    By contrast, I would say 'upon' and then the sentence would be fine. The problem with 'urged' or another standalone verb is that the 2nd object of the verb is too far away for the sense to be immediate - all the more so with the two infinitives in between. By writing 'upon' you are creating a direct link with the main subject-verb. Plus I'm not 100% keen on the 'safeguard A and B, and C' structure, where C is not an object of 'safeguard' but that's a minor point.

    Finally, although repeating 'upon' might not be the most natural way to write, in the kind of formal document you're working on - is it an actual legal document? I've simply assumed this in all your threads - it would be very common to repeat prepositions and conjunctions if there are 2 or more objects or subordinate clauses, especially if these are far apart.

    'They called upon X to ... and ..., in order to ...., and upon Y to ...' (where it could be a few lines before you get to 'upon Y to ...')

    Hope that helps!

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