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  1. #1
    giovedy is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2010

    could you please correct my text ? thanks !!

    Hello, I'm french and i have to make a presentation of a new fake product for my english courses. So i would like to know where are my mistakes ! And sorry for my poor english.

    here it is :
    May I have your attention, please?
    When truck-drivers travelling they often face the problem of producing fatigue creating accidents. Let me explain, truck-drivers have to drive approximately nine hours per day which is delicate for a none broken sleep. Itís obvious that one way to solve this problem is to use this brand-new product, the detecting fatigue system 1000.
    This device can be defined as a highway safety system. What I means is that it should not be classified as a gadget, conversely it should be compulsory.
    As you can see from the drawing, the detecting fatigue system is made up of five parts. First of all, it includes a suction cup which is made of plastic. Secondly, this new product features movable sensors. Let me tell you why, sensors will enables the system to be accommodated for everyone. As illustrate by the figure, this invention is also equipped with a buzzer. Last but not least, this produce is fitted with a supply cord which is plug in the cigarette lighter. Eventually, itís equipped with a light helmet putted on the driverís head.
    Well, now let my give some information concerning the dimensions. The base looks like a webcam, however it is twice as large a webcam on the average. The device is five centimeters in diameter. Regarding the helmet, itís adaptable since the diameter varies from 50 cm up to 70 cm.
    Apart from the suction cup, I would like to let you know that this system is made up of iron. It is available in one color only that is grey.
    Moreover, I would like to stress one particular point which is that this product operates thanks to electricity, namely thanks to the electricity delivered at cigarette lighter.
    I would like to add that this device is designed to help truck-drivers avoid accidents by tracking their blink and their yawn. In other words, it will make it possible to decrease the crash rates due to the fatigue.
    Let me now explain how to install this product. The first step consists in putting the base with the sensors toward the driver on the dashboard thanks to the suction cup. The second step is to link the base thanks to the supply cord with the cigarette light plug. The third step consists in putting the helmet on your head and to settle it. The final step is to start the system with the knob.

    Let me now mention what happens whenever you use product. A distance between the top of the lips and the low of the lips is registered into the base. A limit is created thanks to a relation and when this limit is passed a beep is activated. Thus, the driver is warned. Concerning his eyes, the pupil is detected by various sensors located on the helmet . Whenever the pupil is not detected, a chronometer is activated and when the limit is crossed over, one beep per second can be sounded. Moreover, the numbers of blink or yawning are counted, which enable you to have a third security since a fix is present and a pair of beep appear
    Prior using it, it recommended to check that the base is switch on. Besides, when starting to drive, make sure that you have put correctly the helmet.
    IT obvious that the main advantage of this device is that it is highway safety system. Let me tell you why, this system could help save the 15 000 people who get killed every year.
    The only drawback is that fatigue is not the main reason of all crashes. Indeed, let me remind you that fatigue plays a role in only 13% of all trucks related crashes.
    The estimated cost of this product is 850 $, and it will available in June.
    To conclude, I would like to stress that this product would offer marvelous opportunities to safe a lot of truck drivers life. What Iím suggesting is to make obligatory the installation of this system since it could only help 15000 on the average.

  2. #2
    giovedy is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2010

    Re: could you please correct my text ? thanks !!

    wao !!!
    thank you very much, you have been most helpfull !

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