Can anyone help me? Application letter

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Martz

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Thanks in advance to everyone :)

Here's the task:
GLOBAL MUSIC SHOPS

We are looking for people to wotk in our international music shops for three months in the summer.
- Are you interested in music?
- Do you have any useful experience?
- Is your level of English good?
Apply to the manager, Mr Boston.

Dear Mr Boston,
I have seen your advertisement in a magazine, and I am writing to apply for a job in your music shop.
I am a 17-year-old student from Italy, and I have just finished school. I have always had a particular interest in music, especially Jazz. Therefore, I have a fairly good knowledge of it. Besides, I worked in a music shop similar to yours for a year, while studying in high school.
I guess this could be a useful experience. Moreover, since I have good English skills either in writing and speaking I think I meet the requirements for this job.
In fact, I have just taken the Cambridge First Certificate exam, where I was awarded the highest mark.
I attach my resume to prove what is written above.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,

M.V.
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
A few suggestions:

Dear Mr Boston,
I have seen your advertisement in a magazine, and I am writing to apply for a job in your music shop.
I am a 17-year-old student from Italy, and I have just finished school. I have always had a particular interest in music, especially Jazz. Therefore, I have a fairly good knowledge of it. Besides, I worked in a music shop similar to yours for a year, while studying in high school and gained useful knowledge about music and the music-selling business.
[STRIKE]I guess this could]be a useful experience.[/STRIKE] Moreover, since I have good English skills [STRIKE]either[/STRIKE] both in writing and speaking, I [STRIKE]think[/STRIKE]am confident that I meet the requirements for this job.
In fact, I have just taken the Cambridge First Certificate exam, where I was awarded the highest mark.
I attach my resume to [STRIKE]prove what is written above[/STRIKE] support my qualifications.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
 
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