Hello, I would like advice on the structure of the sentence I have written below:
If only I had trusted her more; if only I had talked to her at the office; if only I had talked to her in my apartment; things may have been different. We could have worked together from the first day we met and planned something much sooner, then she might still be alive.
It's a list of if onlys, but I'm not comfortable that I have written it grammatically correct. Do you think it looks OK? and are the semicolons the best mechanics for seperating the phrases? I felt like I needed someting more than a comma. I tried using an emdash but that didn't seem quite right either.
The problem to me is the last semi-colon- it's not the last thing in a list. Do you need to repeat the if only?
If only I had trusted her more and talked to her at the office or in my apartment, things might have been different. (I prefer might to may here as you know how things have turned out, though the may/might have distinction is being eroded)