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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Dear Mr. Hotel Manager

    Dear Mr. Hotel Manager
    When I came to stay at your Hotel last week, I was not happy because when I had my bath in the morning, it took such a long time for the water to get hot before I could have my shower, this made me very late for my meeting. When I went to breakfast and nobody told me that I had to help myself to tea and coffee so I was waiting and waiting for the waitress to check. Then I was really cross because the boom in the parking garage was stuck and I had to wait about 4 minutes for somebody to sort it out. Somebody should tell you that you have to help yourself to tea/ coffee. Also it would be nice if you could leave some maps at the boom in the parking garage in case people forget to ask inside the hotel for a map and you are a ne person visiting Cape Town. Also I did not find the cleaning lady to be very friendly when I greeted her ion a friendly way, it is important that people in your Hotel are very friendly all the time even if the and having a bad day because it makes us (the people staying in your Hotel feel as if we are not welcome and maybe I will stay at another place next time because I think other people in other hotels are very friendly. When I was asking the lady for a map, the person next to her was having a private conversation on the phone and there were other people (staying at the hotel) waiting for help, then the lady helping me sent me to another desk to get a map, I noticed that the flowers are very beautiful, this other lady was very helpful
    Yours Sincerely

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,221
    #2

    Re: Dear Mr. Hotel Manager

    How is it you would like us to help you with this?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: Dear Mr. Hotel Manager

    I please need you to assist me with the following:

    Check paragraphs according to guidelines above
    Make the letter consise

    Please i need help urgently

    Many Thanks

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2007
    • Posts: 19,221
    #4

    Re: Dear Mr. Hotel Manager

    Your essays wanders all over.

    Keep the points of your complaints together.
    - lack of hot water
    - not knowing about the self-service tea
    - employees not focused on customer service
    - the boom on the garage door
    - lack of maps

    You have some run-on sentences. Make your sentences shorter if you have to, but don't join two sentences with a comma.

    (I think complaining that the cleaning lady didn't act all happy to see you is pretty weak. However, an employee having a personal conversation while guests are waiting for service is a real issue.)
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  5. Newbie
    Student or Learner

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 3
    #5

    Re: Dear Mr. Hotel Manager

    Thanks Barb

    Your assistance is much appreciated

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